There are three guys that come to mind who deserve a break:  Obama, Michael Vick and LeBron James.  This isn't a political blog, those are for douchebags and (speaking of douchebags) Rick Reilly beat me to defending Vick.  I hate it when I find myself agreeing with Reilly.  But I digress, I'm here to defend LBJ.

First, I don't want to hear anymore shit about how Cleveland basketball fans are "long suffering".  Cleveland baseball fans and Cleveland football fans are long suffering.  But before LeBron came to town, you fuckers didn't even know you had a basketball team.  Just pretend it never happened.  Revert back to not giving a fuck.  Not caring suits you, just like the rest of the country doesn't give a shit about you.  Also, so what if you are long suffering?  Do you think you're somehow karmically entitled?  This is a Cubs fan talking.  Suffering defeat for extended periods of time doesn't entitle you to shit.  What fucking fantasy world are you living in?  This is the real world lady!  Life's not fair.  Deal with it.  You live in the middle of the Goddamn rust-belt.  You should be used to disappointment.

Next, the idea that James turned his back on his hometown is ridiculous.  He's not from Cleveland.  He's from Akron.  And even if he was from Cleveland, this isn't the movies, where the kid grows up to play for the team he grew up loving.  This is real life, where players play where they have the greatest chance of winning and will make the most money.  Grow up Peter Pan, Count Chocula.

Do you fucking people really think that LeBron or any athlete in any city owes anything to the fans?  I know you go to games and watch them on TV and sort of indirectly pay their salaries, but you pay Steve Jobs' salary too if you own an ipod.  Do you expect his loyalty?  His personal loyalty to you?  No, you expect him to sell you an awesome status symbol that will be obsolete in 18-36 months.  If Jobs moved to Japan to run Sony because they had better R&D and could pay him more (and the climate was better, the nightlife was hotter and the people were better looking)  would you be pissed?  "That bastard!  I pay his salary!  I supported him!  I love my ipod so he should love me dammit!"  Of course you wouldn't.  That would be crazy.  You'd be happy for him that he took a new and exciting opportunity and had the chance to make a little more coin than before.  Your addiction to Mochaccinos indirectly pays Howard Schultz's salary.  You support Starbucks, you go there every day.  But you don't expect anything from Schultz personally.  You expect a fucking latte.  It's the same with athletes.  They don't owe you shit.  You paid for a ticket, and one of the greatest players to ever strap on basketball shoes entertained the shit out of you.  That's it.  Obligation over.  The fact that you live in the city he reps, love his team or worship him is fucking meaningless, except in your head.  Get out of your damn head and get a clue.

When did it become OK to wish personal harm towards someone we disagree with?  Who signed off on all of this psychotic vitriol?  Listen up, Tea Partiers, PETA People and Jilted Clevelandites:  You disagree with these people's decisions.  They disappointed you.  You don't approve of their actions.  Voicing that disapproval is great, but there's no need to threaten people, wish they were dead or compare them to Hitler, Stalin or Charles Barkley.  Lighten up Cleveland.  He didn't go to Miami with the intent of slighting, insulting, or personally harming you.  He did it so he could play ball with his friends with whom he already won a gold medal.  Miami could offer him that.  Chicago couldn't, New York couldn't and you couldn't, but he waited until the very last minute to see if you maybe could, so he could stay and keep all you ungrateful sucktards happy.  He didn't wait until the last minute as part of some diabolical plan to sink your franchise.  He was holding out hope, just like you were that the organization would be able to move heaven and earth and bring Wade and Bosch up to the foul smelling shores of Lake Erie.  But it didn't work out.  Stop fucking crying about it.

I know what you're saying, "But 'The Decision' was such a classless move!"  Yeah.  He could have handled that better.  But he's 25 years old - and speaking as a 25 year old guy, let me tell you, sometimes 25 year old guys do stupid shit.  It's not that uncommon - or unfathomable - especially when you have Nike and ESPN in your ear, egging you on to turn this thing into the biggest media spectacle ever.  ESPN, once again is guilty of creating, and thus becoming the story.  Don't believe me?  Turn on ESPN today.  They haven't gone more than twelve and a half minutes since midnight last night without talking about LeBron's "homecoming".  They've been planning this for months.  Their level of sociopathic manipulation makes Alonzo Harris look like a fucking boy scout.  They played up the free-agent bonanza, reported stories based on twitter and hearsay and turned "The Decision" into the landmark event of controversy it's become.  Don't get so caught up in it.  He left.  He brought you closer to greatness than you've ever been and then he left.

This isn't the first time we've seen Cleveland sports fans bitch like a bunch of little girls.  You pulled the same shit when Modell moved the Browns.  Sports is a business.  The teams, the players, the coaches, the fucking waterboys are there to make money.  They appreciate their fans.  That doesn't make them forever indebted to their fans.  These things happen - and not just to you.  Want proof?  The Browns moved to Baltimore - a city that lost their football team over night a few decades earlier.  Part of being an adult is learning to deal with disappointment, accepting that not everything is going to go your way.  Congratulations Cleveland fans, for the second time in two decades you've proven yourselves to be children.  Does anything get done in that city? Or do you just sit around and bitch about how bad the Indians suck,  how hard the Browns blow (glad you got them back huh? Those two winning seasons in the last 12 years must make it all worth it) and how unfair it is that LeBron left?  What do you people do when you're passed over for promotions or cut off in traffic?  Go into a coma?  Spontaneously combust?  You want to know why LeBron left?  Because he's a winner and Cleveland is a city of losers.  Losing is a tradition in Cleveland.  Failure is a way of life - and constantly bitching about that isn't going to reverse this trend.  Incidentally, having the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame doesn't redeem you.  A lot of cities have museums.

And stop acting so giddy that the Heat are having trouble adjusting to three of the biggest stars in the league.  They're 11-8, not 8-11.  What did you think they were going to win all 82 games? 80? 73?  I've got news for you.  Some records never will be broken.  Kobe's never going to score 100 points, Ichiro will never have a 56 game hitting streak and no one will ever win 72 games again (What?  This website is Chicago biased.  We told you it would be).  I hope tonight is a turning point for the Heat.  I hope the big 3 play like the stars they are and just embarrass the shit out of all of you.  I hope the Cavs get absolutely dominated tonight and LeBron puts up a career high while he, Bosch and Wade all post tripple doubles.  Would that shut you up?  Probably not.  If you assholes had any balls or any class, you'd give your returning hero a standing ovation tonight.  But you don't, so you won't.  Fine.  Enjoy your miserable, never-winning-shit, "poor me I'm stuck in shitty Cleveland" existence.

Finally, in the immortal words of Jimmy Kimmel, "Cleveland doesn't rock.  Cleveland sucks.  Your football team is the color of shit."  That should just about sum it up.

-Wild

The Punk Kid is Now a Grown-Ass Man

The Answer answers

I have to admit, I've always been an AI apologist.  I was willing to look past the 'tude, the locker room disruptiveness, the thugged out image and of course "Practice?", because he was a six footer who went balls-out 82 nights a year, sacrificed his body, played hurt and stopped at nothing to help his team win.  Having said that, I have to say that Iverson did disappoint me from time to time and I had just about given up on his seemingly uninsurable ass when even the New York Knicks wouldn't take him.  But I was jazzed to hear he was returning to Philly and I was pleasantly surprised by his comments today (above).

In a week when we all learned that the god of the golf world was actually human, it was nice to see AI's human side as well. One thing that you could never say about Allen Iverson is that he's disingenuous (the same could never be said for Tiger and his squeaky-clean image) and it's clear that his feelings about basketball (and family) are very real.  And that right there is the difference between Iverson and Woods.  AI lives his life out there in the open.  He's honest, shows his flaws for everyone to see and allows us to learn from him.

We saw a new side of The Answer today.  An older side, a more mature side, a humble side.  His humility and his honesty should leave the rabid Philly fans feeling hopeful for the future of their once great ball team.  Glad to have you back, Answer.  Just wanted to say that.

-Wild

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L.A. Lakers: The Rich Keep on Getting Richer

by Sean Heffernan 

When Danny Ainge's masterpiece trade for Kevin Garnett and Jesus Biggelsworth (Ray Allen) turned the Boston Celtics from perennial loser to NBA Champion in a single year a new standard was set for NBA GM's to reach for the miracle move. ... This offseason has seen Shaq join Lebron in Cleveland, Vince Carter bolster the Orlando Magic's offense, former All Star Richard Jefferson head south to San Antonio,and Rasheed Wallace become Ainge's fourth amigo in Boston. Teams are feeling the pressure that they must wheel and deal if they want to have any chance at all to compete with the rest of the league.

One of the great things about American sports is the possibility that before each season you never never know if this year will be your team's year. Before last season, Arizona Cardinals fans certainly weren't poised for a Super Bowl run, but it happened. The Chicago White Sox surprised everyone when they won the World Series in 2005 without a single bonafide star player. The improbable in sports is what makes us watch.
 
Take for example European soccer. Most of the leagues in Europe are dominated by a few mega-rich teams year in and year out because they don't abide by a salary cap of any kind. In the English Premier League for example the same four teams (Chelsea, Manchester United, Liverpool, and Arsenal) finish in the top four almost every year. The rest of the clubs don't stand a chance unless they run into a couple hundred million dollars somewhere. Perhaps the same standard can't be held to European football because unlike American sports there are soccer leagues in every country in the world, but still something is lost in the predictability of it all.

 The NBA's offseason is far from over with big names like Carlos Boozer and Allen Iverson likely still to be on the move before all is said and done. In only a few months the gap between the Celtics, Lakers, Spurs, Cavs, Magic and the rest of league has grown significantly. The level of play when these teams collide next year in the playoffs might be off the charts, but is this the best thing for the NBA? Who's going to want to watch the Memphis Grizzlies play the Indiana Pacers next year?

 The NBA did lower their salary cap to cope with the suffering economic market, but they can't stop teams from pooling the league's best talent together. This trend is only gaining steam with the recent trades around the league. The rise of the NBA superteams could reach a fever pitch with all the superstar free agents available in 2010. When will it end? Is it the best thing for basketball? Share your thoughts below in the comments section.

Coming to Chicago?

ESPN is reporting that their may be a trade in the works between the Utah Jazz, Chicago Bulls, and Portland Trailblazers that would send power forward Carlos Boozer to the Windy City. The Bulls reportedly would have to give up Kirk Hinrich to Portland and Tyrus Thomas to Utah, but would get one of the best post players in the NBA in return. ...

Say what you will about the progression of Thomas last year, but he has yet to take that big leap on the court that Bulls fans hoped he eventually would when he was drafted in 2006. Hinrich is a fan favorite, but he makes way too much money ($10 million annually) to be a back up point guard. Rookie of the year Derek Rose proved last season that he's a natural scorer and having Boozer down low will only make life easier for the former Memphis Tiger.

Carlos Boozer has a hell of a resume.

Growing up in Sarah Palin country, Boozer honed his skills playing Juneau, Alaska before coming under the tutelage of Coach K at Duke University. In 2001 the power forward led the Blue Devils to the final four defeating Arizona to win the NCAA Championship. The two time All Star and two time Olympian might be the best double double man in the NBA this side of Dwight Howard. In the playoffs last year the Jazz bowed out to Houston Rockets in the second round, but Boozer averaged 20.6 points per game and 13.2 rebounds.

I love this move. Joakim Noah showed a little more potential than Thomas this past season and having both players in the starting lineup was redundant. I don't know if trading for Boozer will instantly make the Bulls a title contender, but it certainly improves the starting lineup. Pull the trigger Gar Forman!

Still the King?

Chris Cwik:
This whole LeBron James situation is playing out like a classic Greek tragedy. All heroes have their flaws. Let's face it, you don't hear about the NBA without mention of LeBron James. He is the future, the player that you model your game after, the next MJ. He's even personable and seems like he's a pretty funny guy. In the whole LeBron vs Kobe debate, no one takes Kobe. Let's rephrase that, no one wants to take Kobe. However, here is LeBron's tragic flaw: he's way too competitive. Typically, we want our athletes to be ultra-competitive. They always demand the best out of themselves and everyone around them. Who doesn't love that in an athlete? LeBron, though, seems to be taking it a little too far.

Sure, I admit, it didn't bother me that LeBron didn't shake hands with the Magic after a loss. Athletes should be frustrated when they lose, especially considering he didn't have any help from his teammates. The media, however, had a field day with it. Now, with the whole tape confiscating, dunk-fest video, my opinion may have changed. I understand the competitiveness and the will to win, but doesn't that have to end at some point. The past few months haven't been so good to LeBron, but freaking out over a kid dunking on you shows that LeBron may have hit rock bottom. Let the kid have his 15 minutes of fame and move on. If there is a positive for all the Cavs fans out there, it's that maybe LeBron gets so crazy about the past few months that he goes into "there is no way I'm losing in the playoffs again mode" and takes his game to a truly unbelievable level. Then again, the tragedy always makes for the better story.
- Chris

Wild Bill:
Alright lookit. Everybody's blowing this thing waaaaay out of proportion. First of all, Mr. Cwik - THERE'S NO SUCH THING AS BEING WAY TOO COMPETITIVE - especially when you're an NBA star who gets paid millions of dollars to do one thing: win championships. So let's just cancel that shit right now. Should he have shook hands? Yes. Should he have apologized after he didn't? Sure. But let's remember here that we're dealing with a 23 YEAR OLD KID who before he reached the NBA only lost a handful of games in his life. We're dealing with a kid who has the weight of an entire franchise, city and league on his shoulders. Not making the finals - again - IS KIND OF A BIG DEAL.

Now as far as this whole supposed "dunk tape" situation goes, let's look at what really happened: a guy who WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE FILMING SOMETHING got his tape confiscated after an NBA star supposedly got dunked on. Now I don't want to start some sort of big conspiracy theory here, but are we sure LeBron got dunked on? Is it possible that homeboy was pissed because his tape got jacked so he floated this story to his buddies in the sports media. As far as I know, this camp had a pretty clear "no filming" policy and I can understand why college and pro players in the middle of the offseason and not in playing shape wouldn't want their runs ending up on youtube. Did the dunk happen? Probably. Did the tape get taken away? Definitely. Did it get taken because of the dunk? Maybe. It could have been because the motherfuckers were told not to film practice and they did it anyway. Either way, we're making a mountain out of a mole hill here. You know how you know LeBron's on top? Because everyone is tryna knock him down. And that's sad.

Does LeBron make mistakes? Yeah. That's what guys in their twenties do. We're walking, talking, drinking, smoking mistake makers. Most of us have the luxury of only looking stupid to a handful of people when we do. So let's cut the King some slack and appreciate the fact that we're getting to watch one of the greatest, most entertaining players in the history of the NBA. Let's appreciate that LeBron is generous, magnanimous and outgoing about 95% of the time and not sweat the 5% when he just needs some time for LeBron.
-Wild Bill

Sean Hef:
It made me think of when Lebron walked off the court without shaking the Magic's hands that he's breaking one of the most basic rules of sportsmanship that every kid learns playing tee-ball. At the end of the game you shake hands with the other team no matter what. Any kid who ever played sports got that beat into their heads growing up. But perhaps that doesn't apply to professional athletes. Didn't Tom Brady do that when the Patriots got knocked out of the playoffs. I mean everyone would agree if after the Magic won Dwight Howard rubbed it in Lebron's face than he'd be destroyed by the media. So why shouldn't a athlete be critized acting like a child when they lose. Then again it was the fans, the media spotlight, the sponsors that supports Lebron's interstellar super stardom so who's surprised the guy has a ego problem. If the same thing happened to Jordan back in the day I could see him and those who protected his persona (Nike) snatching up that guy's tape. Today, personality is almost as important as what the player achieves professionally. Look at Tim Duncan. Wins a NBA Finals every few years, but the guy couldn't sell a sneaker if his life depended on it. The good always comes with the bad.
-Hef

Lebron, you asked for help. You got it. You definitely got a big body to go down low.

The Phoenix Suns agreed to send Shaq to Cleveland for Sacha Pavlovic, Ben Wallace, the No. 46 pick in the draft, and $500,000. MAKE IT RAIN!

The trade solidifies a few things for us going into tonight's draft: ...

1. Phoenix has officially entered Rebuilding Mode. Amare Stoudamire and Steve Nash might be on the move next.
2. Cleveland wants to win yesterday. That's the only reason Cleveland would trade for Shaq who's definitely running on low in the gas tank. He's got 1, Maybe 2, more solid seasons left in him. Would you believe it if I told you that Shaq's still putting up 17.8 points, 8.4 rebounds, and 1.4 blocks a game? More than that, would you find it equally as or more shocking that Shaq actually played in 75 games last year averaging 30 minutes a night? Me TOO! Really, I had no idea... I blame this on ESPN for sucking in its west coast coverage. The jury's still out on your LA Sportscenter...

As for the Rest of the Draft...

Blake Griffin goes first, Thabeet goes second (he'll suck, by the by), Rubio third, and Stephen Curry goes either 6th or 8th. Do any of those guys make a difference next year a la Derrick Rose? Nnnnnope.

The rest of the class is filled with 6th men, roster fillers, and D-leaguers.

With that, the Chicago Bulls select...

Nobody of any consequence.

I've had my fill of guys with solid college pedigrees (Hinrich from Kansas, Jay Williams/Duhon/Deng from Duke, Noah from Florida, etc.). If new GM Gar Forman goes anywhere near DeJaun Blair (achy-breaky knees, no heart), Tyler Hansbrough (all heart, too many miles), or Nick Calathes (PG out of Florida), I'm already claiming it a true Cubby Blue "Wait Till Next Year...".

Rumor mill's really churning hard on Kirk Hinrich's leaving the team this summer, if not tonight. If it's tonight, it's the No. 26 pick and Kirk Hinrich to Portland for Travis Outlaw and another guard. ANOTHER GUARD!

For the love of all things naked and alcoholic, show me a 4 or a 5 with B+ offensive ability downlow. Outlaw has some offensive ability (~13 pts per game, 1 offensive rebound per game), but I want a big body down low that's ready to bang.

Since there's nobody like that in the draft outside of Blake Griffin, I motion to mortgage the draft to get an established big man. The two options here are, in order of likelihood, Amare Stoudamire and Chris Bosh. I'd prefer Chris Bosh, but I'd settle for Amare Stoudamire--and it hurts to say that. Amare Stoudamire will play no more than 50 games next year and miss the entire post-season. Mark my words.

For Some Reason, People are Still Surprised Yao Ming's Big Ass Foot is Still Broken...

Wake me in February to talk about an NBA center that's constantly nursing a sore foot.

LSU Chalks Up Its 6th CWS Title...

Behind it's powerhouse offense.

After pouncing on the Longhorns for 4 early runs, Texas tied the game but couldn't put anything else together. LSU put up 6 more runs before the 9th as it brutally beat the hell out of Texas' pitching.

Every Texas pitcher looked scared shitless to be on the mound. Ouch.

In somewhat unrelated news, I'm roadtripping to Omaha next year to hit on every LSU sister, girlfriend, wife, and mother. The more mardi gras beads, the better. And upon my return, I'll be speaking Cajun dialect.

One City, Two Teams

Hopefully, I can say it for certain this time: The White Sox look to be putting it all together. HA! Noooo, I can't. But still... it could be worse. It could be the Cubs. Did anybody else see the embarrassment in Detroit? Even when I wouldn't mind--hell, I'd even prefer--a Cubs win, the Cubs just can't make it happen. Jesus God.

The Sox nutted all over the Dodgers, the best team in baseball, last night with 6 home runs including 2 off the bat of Josh Fields, while Gavin Floyd kept the Dodgers quiet at the plate giving up only 3 runs (1 earned)on 6 hits in 6 innings.

Somebody open up the gloves on defense though! Another multi-error game for the Sox as Gordon Beckham picks up his 4th on a ground ball and Alexei Ramirez tacks his 6th on a line drive.

And, Jimmy Gobble, you can go away now. Thank... no, no... Thank you. That'll be all.

The Headline

And a most pretentious one at that... Manny Ramirez went 0-for-2 for the Albuquerque Isotopes in his first action since his suspension.

The bigger story here is the fact that Manny Ramirez's playing in Triple-A is such a big freaking story. ...

ESPN made sure we knew how each of Manny's 2 at-bats turned out (K, ground out to short). And John Kruk graciously expanded on why the guy's swing is out of sync. Clearly, knowing Manny hasn't played in a game since his May 7 suspension isn't enough.

It's a slow day in news when Albuquerque, New Mexico, is the country's newsline boom. It's not like Ozzie Smith, Don Mattingly, Daryl Strawberry, Mike Scioscia, Steve Sax, and Doc Gooden didn't all play for the Isotopes 15 years ago. What? That was an episode of The Simpsons? I don't believe you.

Does anybody else feel weirdly sympathetic to Manny Ramirez? In today's LA Times, T.J. Simers' article headline reads "Even He Can't Stay Mad at Manny."

Manny's a cocky, show-boating, selfish player, but, god dammit, I love watching him hit. **Sentiments not applicable to Yankees fans living outside of the Washington Heights neighborhood**

Can we think of any other athletes who fit the Manny Ramirez criterion of being a shitty-teammate-and-makes-no-qualms-about-it-but-people-like-him-anyways?

The NBA Draft Started Last Night and Nobody Told Me...

The Minnesota Timberwolves basically own the first round of tomorrow night's draft. The post-Kevin McHale Era begins with Minnesota's sending Randy Foye and Mike Miller (White Guy with a jumpshot!!) to Washington in exchange for the No. 5 pick in the draft, Darius Songalia, Etan Thomas, and Oleksiy Pecherov.

With this trade, the T-Wolves now own the Nos. 5, 6, 18, & 28 picks. I call bullshit. There's no way the T-Wolves need All Those 1st Round Busts when they have Darius Songalia.

And raise your hand if you know who Etan Thomas or Oleksiy Pecherov is? I'm pretty sure Oleksiy Pecherov is the chick from Dodgeball with the messed up teeth. ... No?

Has there been a draft with a less intriguing crop? After Blake Griffin, we're talking about Tyler Hansbrough, Louisville's & Pitt's front court, Steph Curry, Eric Maynor, and Brandon "Loopholes Live in Italy" Jennings.

Here's to Not watching Feburary 2010's Rookie-Sophomore Challenge.

Richard Jefferson Just Got Traded Again...

This time he's leaving Milwaukee and headed to San Antonio in exchange for 800 year old Kurt Thomas, Bruce Bowen, and Fabricio Oberto.

Milwaukee then went ahead and traded Oberto to Detroit for about 10,000 shares of GM... oh, and Amir Johnson. (who ARE these guys...)

In the Most Entertaining Baseball on TV for the Last Week...

Texas beat LSU 5-1 last night in Game 2 in the best of 3 College World Series.

Seriously, turn off whatever slumping MLB team you're watching and get some metal bat PING sound effects in your life.

In last night's Game 2, Texas owned LSU all night. Tyler Jungmann pitched 9 innings scattering 5 hits for 1 run, 9 strikeouts, and only 2 walks. And TOTALLY REDEEM YOURSELF from the previous night's relief appearance of 6 pitches, 6 balls, and a shower.

Watching the game, though, you just kept waiting for LSU to storm back. The Tigers have been an offensive powerhouse all series scoring 6+ runs 10 times throughout the CWS tournament.

Like I said, much more entertaining than whatever terribleness the Sox, Cubs, Yankees, or Mets put on last night.

"Leave the man alone. And leave me alone. And let it go...let...it...go." - The Rick

I find that much of the mainstream media places equal blame on anyone who slips up, whether they say the wrong thing or kill their ex-wife - as long as it leads to scandal. Do Fox News and CNN have you all bent out of shape and confused? Not sure who you should hate and who should get a free pass? Wild Bill is here to clear all that up with a brand new feature I like to call "LEAVE 'EM ALONE / TAKE YER SHOTS"

LEAVE 'EM ALONE

Derrick Rose
Ever toss up a gang sign in a pic trying to be cool or ironic? People probably laughed, snapped the pic and you got on with your life. Thousands of frat boys and overweight suburban white girls are photographed everyday tossing up signs they don't understand - and nobody bats an eyelash. But when a black guy from the south side does it, he must be in a gang right? Never mind that the kid was a COLLEGE STUDENT or that he's considered a leader by his teammates on AND off the court. Young black man plus urban upbringing plus gang sign must mean gang affiliation right? Wrong it means a 19 year old kid was mugging for his buddy's camera. Why can't we leave it at that and avoid as much hypocrisy as possible?

David Letterman
Dude made a joke - and a pretty damn funny one at that - about a legal adult female and her slutty Alaskan escapades. He was clearly referring to the 18 year old - you know the one who's known for getting knocked up? - and this is clearly some misguided attempt for the right to make some kind of "statement" about family values. You want family values? How about teaching your teenage daughter to keep it in her pants until college?

Jon
Please. If you were married to that succubus, you'd cheat too - all the time. I'm not a big proponent of cheating, but John gets a free pass. That chick is drunk with power and completely off the deep end. Let the man live his life.

Artie Lange
I don't know what friggin wizard over at HBO thought it would be a good idea to bring Artie on for Joe Buck's first ever "I suck worse than Costas" talk show, but thank God someone did. That was just about the funniest damn thing I've seen in a while. Lange said everything we always think about Buck when we suffer through Saturday Baseball on Fox. Hats off you big sweaty, drunken guido!

TAKE YER SHOTS

OJ
Who could forget "the chase"? 15 years ago today. You, your TV set, a white Ford Bronco, a huge stretch of SoCal freeway and of course AC.

What the HELL was THAT all about? The circus that ensued was unlike anything we'd ever seen and you know what? I don't care if he's innocent or guilty (although probably guilty) - take your shots people, 'cuz fuck OJ. He beat the shit out of women, he stole shit and he probably killed two innocent people. It's a good thing he's in jail.

Kate
This bitch is crazy - really. the goddamned devil incarnate. I'm not just talking about the way she shows no affection to her kids or husband on that ridiculous excuse for a show (which by the way I totally don't watch). I'm talking about the fact that she exploits the shit out of her kids and would probably sell one to a pimp in Thailand if she thought it would help her get a moisturizer endorsement. Oh yeah - and sow she's supposedly hitting the kids and denying them water? I smell spinoff: "Jon and Kate Plus Sweat Shop Labor" anyone?

Sammy Sosa
Take your shots. Go ahead take 'em. We knew. We all knew. We've known for a while and we let it slide 'cuz Sammy and his 'roids saved baseball in the summer of '98. As a Cubs fan, he was my hero and could do no wrong, but I started to lose faith with the whole corked bat incident and just about gave up on Sammy when he bailed on the Cubbies. The final straw was when he all of a sudden forgot how to speak English in front of Congress. So yeah, we knew. But now it's official, so take your shots.

Joe Buck
I've just never been so goddamn happy to see someone fail. That's really all I've got. So do like Artie and take your shots. Real quick - is Buck the single most humorless person on the face of the earth? We should have seen this coming when he freaked out because Randy Moss DIDN'T show his ass to the crowd in Greenbay, but really, I've never seen anyone look as uncomfortable as he did when Lange was ripping into him. Lange hated on Irvin and his cowboys and you know what? Mike got the joke! Laughed his ass off and even added a few snipes about "white on white crime". This is why, despite his many flaws America loves Michael Irvin and pretty much everyone hates Joe Buck.

-Wild Bill

Cut the man some slack!

I read Jason Whitlock's Stan Van Panic article yesterday on Foxsports.com. Much too hard on a fat guy named Stan for me to pass up the opportunity to beef, so to speak. First, while I'm a big fan of JWhit, he looks like a guy who should have sympathy for fat guys!

Whitlock's right that Jameer Nelson played too many consecutive minutes. He also bit on the outlet to Ariza, and failed to foul or guard Fisher. However, there are many things that both teams and coaches would like to replay after any game, but the name of this game was missed FREE throws by the Magic star players.

Let's take a look at Turkoglu. He shot 8 for 13 from the field, and 8 for 13 (61.5%) from the FREE throw line. He was 3 for 7 in the 4th quarter. So a guy who is an 80% career FREE throw shooter, and has only missed 20 of 111 in the playoffs misses 4 in the 4th quarter at home. That's not panic, and I don't like to use the "c" word, but it's not good.

On to "Superman" Howard, he played great with 9 blocks and 6 offensive rebounds. Except he had three more blocks and the same amount of o-rebounds as made FREE throws. I know he's only 60% for his career, but 6 for 14 (42.9%). If you want to be even a regular hero just make ONE with 11 seconds left. Otherwise you did not seal the deal for your team, plain and simple.

Combined these two guys were only 5 for 11 from the FREE throw line in the fourth quarter. Do you get the point?

So Jason, please take it easy on Stan Van he is trying his best. He's wearing a lot of black and it's slimming.

-Stan the Man, (though I'm a Yankee and Cub fan, I was always a fan of Stan "The Man" Musial).

Sorry Dwight.

So yeah...nobody told us that part of the deal with having a website was that you have to know, write on it regularly. Admittedly, we've been about as productive as a GM plant the past few days. But in a nutsehell, here's what you missed:

The Lakers now lead 3-1 in the NBA finals after their second OT win in four games.

You gotta feel for the Magic. Homeboys can't finish. Both overtime losses shouldn't even have made it to OT as they blew leads late in both games AND choked in the waning seconds of regulation when they had opportunities to regain the lead and put the game away - twice. Kobe still complains too much and Howard can't hit a free throw to save his life. But how about D. Fisher?!?! OMAGOD!!!! Dude could be the next big shot Bob. His late in regulation 3 poiner, followed by a clutch 3 in overtime did more than anything else to twist the knife in Orlando's back. As much as I hate to admit it, I'll be very surprised if this series makes its way back to the City of the Angels. The Magic are simply outgunned.

Playmakers at 'Bama are in a whole heap of trouble for getting free textbooks.

My personal feelings about Nick Saban and the integrity of any program he's a part of aside - we're missing the point here. These guys weren't getting free clothes, or cars or hookers or blow - they were given free text books. You know - to learn? Like you do in college. Can't we just chalk this one up to "perks of being a student-athlete" and be happy they even wanted text books. I didn't play college sports. Learning was the whole reason I was there - and there were semesters where I didn't have a single text book. Also - let's cut the shit and call this what it is. These guys make millions of dollars for the school every year. We can pay their tuition, but not for their text books? They can take a free x-box from a bowl committee, but not from a booster? They can get free shoes from Nike, but not from an agent? Let's lighten up on the hypocrisy and stop forcing these kids to live in a "take this, not that" environment. Do you remember college? You were 19, poor as hell and far from home. You would have taken just about anything for free.

Getting off the Soapbox...

Game of the Stanley Cup Finals is tonight at 8 on NBC for the 5 of you who care.

I'm predicting a close game, possibly an overtime or two, but barring a Marc-Andre Fleury miracle, Detroit's experience and depth will win out.

Apparently Ronaldo is playing for Madrid now.

I have no idea what any of this means, but Sean said it was important. I guess Real Madrid is going around being the Red Sox to ManU's Yankees - flexing their checkbook in an effort to be top dog - Ahhhh Capitalism.

Chicago baseball teams are disappointing.

I'm not sure what's acceptable down on 35th St. but here on the North Side, .500 ball isn't OK. The Cubbies trail The Brew Crew by 2.5 games while the ChiSox are a whopping 5.5 back of the Tigers.

Let's see, what else?

Meth in Nascar...no big shock there. Rednecks + Speed = Meth. Right?

http://sports.espn.go.com/rpm/nascar/cup/news/story?id=4245969

Vick cut by Falcons...Canada is in for a treat.

http://sports.espn.go.com/nfl/news/story?id=4253231

Manny says the wrong thing...Again.

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=4249022

Mickelson to play in next two PGA events before family vacation and begininning of wife's treatment. Our thoughts and prayers go out to the Mickelson family.

http://espn.go.com/video/clip?id=4248964

We'll keep writing. You keep reading. Ready? Break!

-Wild Bill