As spring practice draws near, the Domer nation has an excuse to talk incessantly about the state of the Notre Dame football program. Despite the fact that ND hasn’t been in serious contention for a National Championship since 1993, hope springs eternal in South Bend.  Traditionally, the six week period between National Signing Day and the first of 15 spring practices, is when the Irish faithful lick their wounds from the previous fall. That time has come and gone, and Rockne’s wayward sons are daring to dream again...

The fact that Notre Dame hasn’t hired a proven collegiate winner since Lou Holtz has been well documented. Still, Fighting Irish fans have gotten behind each successive coach (Davie, Willingham, O’Leary—whoops, and Weis), if only for a short time. And with every coach since Lispy Lou, the gulf between expectation (National Championship) and reality (.583, .583, .565) has grown.

Knowing the blind, wilful nature of many Notre Dame blowhards sitting on the message boards all day at work, it serves to point out that the blowout losses to Oregon State and LSU, as well as the 14-point loss (which wasn’t nearly as close as 34-20 would suggest) to Ohio State in BCS games do more to strengthen the previous point than refute it.

Calling Notre Dame a ‘finesse’ team the past two seasons is, at best, a euphemistic way of saying they’ve been soft. Chock full of talent on paper, and paper-thin on defense, the Irish underwhelmed everyone in college football except ESPN analyst Mark May.

Enter Brian Kelly, the man who took Cincinnati to its first undefeated regular season, Big East Championship, and BCS berth last year with players ND might have taken as preferred walk-ons out of high school. With a history of winning and a clarity of purpose—National Championships—Kelly is embarking on a journey to restore the Fighting Irish to their long-abdicated throne atop the college football world.

Kelly is known for his grueling off-season workouts, complete with ‘puke buckets’ lined up around the practice facilities. Coupled with new Strength-and-Conditioning Coach Paul Longo’s unconventional methods—including a giant sand pit—that have proved highly effective in developing players, Irish fans can expect a toughness that was consistently lacking during the Weis regime.

Many have speculated about the cause of Notre Dame’s lack of grit and toughness over the past few seasons.  Most look to Weis in one form or another. Some questioned his lack of leadership and head-coaching experience. Still others attribute it to a difference in the way professional and college football players are motivated, and Charlie’s inability to recognize that difference. Yet, a simpler, almost childish explanation has been overlooked entirely:

A young man can only take so much Bon Jovi and Bruce Springsteen.

Charlie Weis’ love-affair with these 1980s rockers is a secret to none in the Notre Dame community.  In order to simulate stadium noise, Weis would play hits like “It’s My Life,” “Glory Days,” and “Living on A Prayer” over the PA system during practice in the days before away games.  The past two seasons, Notre Dame’s road record is 3-7.

In addition, Bon Jovi’s “Slippery When Wet,” and Springsteen’s “Nebraska,” and “The River” albums could be heard in the weight room almost every day during the off-season. One player, who spoke on the condition of anonymity, said: “I mean, I get that they’re great musicians, well, Springsteen at least. But ‘Nebraska’? Do you know what that song is about? And have you ever tried to rep 365 listening to ‘The River’? It’s just depressing, man.”

It seems that playing these Jersey rockers’ inspirational tunes backfired badly on Coach Weis.  Another player said: “I heard so much of those guys, I started to have nightmares. The night before the UCONN game last year, I had a dream that Jon Bon Jovi was playing at my wedding, and Richie Sambora was my best man. How am I supposed to play after something like that?  You think I wanted to get that penalty? It’s hard to focus when you got that stuff goin’ on. Richie Sambora. Fuckin’ Richie Sambora. Why do I even know that guy’s name?”

There are mixed emotions in and around the Fighting Irish community about Charlie Weis’ departure. His supporters talk about his undying love for and understanding of everything Notre Dame stands for. They talk about how he did things the right way, how he emphasized the University and not his three Super Bowl rings when pitching recruits. His naysayers all point to the bottom line: 35-27.

Moving forward, it’s apparent that Brian Kelly has his work cut out for him and the eyes of the Irish nation watching his every move. They’ll talk about the shift back to a 3-4 base defense, and whether players like Kapron Lewis-Moore, Darius Fleming, and Steve Filer can realize their potential within the scheme. They’ll talk about the spread offense he’s implementing, and which receivers will step up to complement Michael Floyd and TE Kyle Rudolph. They’ll second-guess his personnel changes, like Theo Riddick to slot receiver, instead of Cierre Wood to safety, and they’ll question his ability to recruit nationally. And if the Irish win fewer than 8 games this year, some will revert back to their Urban Meyer and Bob Stoops pipe dreams.

Many Irish fans walk around with a sense of entitlement that hasn’t been warranted for about 15 years. Looking at his track record, Coach Kelly might just be the man to justify that air of privilege once again. If Kelly is the man to lead the Irish out of exile, the fans will be there to quote his pre-game speeches like scripture, and name their first-born sons Brian. Any way about it, I hope somebody told him to check his ‘Jovi at the door.

-Jim March

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Jimmy Clausen Dropping Back... out of the Top 25. Again.

Notre Dame did it again...

The Fighting Irish went 10 games before the smoke and mirror show was exposed like Peter Bretter in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". Everybody in blue jerseys on Saturday evening were looking to cover their collective dongs when the final score showed Navy 23 - Notre Dame 21.

Can we all move on now? The Notre Dame Mystique thins every season; and now it's just about translucent. They just aren't a good football team. The coaching staff is lacking. The players don't get the job done. And the attention the program still garners is stomach-turning bad. 100% Serious: I'd rather watch a Kate Plus 8 Minus Jon marathon for a week straight than endure another proclamation that Notre Dame is "back".

Here's what makes Notre Dame even worse: Navy isn't good either. With this win--Navy's second consecutive win at Notre Dame Stadium--Navy qualifies for the Texas Bowl. Anybody care to fathom a guess as to whom Navy's going to see in the Texas Bowl? The Big 12's eigth place team, which currently looks to be Texas A&M. Notre Dame lost to the team who's not even a shoe-in to win the Texas Bowl.

With all the unjustified clout Notre Dame's golden domes carry these days, it's time to take the Irish down a few notches. Remember when Charlie Weis non-chalantly stated that his boys were as good as any of the top 5 teams? Let this serve as notice that Notre Dame certainly is not in the same league as Florida, Texas, USC, Boise State, TCU, or approximately 25 other teams.

Saturday's fourth quarter goes to show how terribly overblown Notre Dame is. The two touchdown scoring drives proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Irish should have been running circles around Navy's defense all day long. Even with the 23 points the Navy offense registered, Notre Dame should have put up 50. Those final touchdown drives for ND went for a combined 12 plays, 156 yards, 14 points in 2:24 of game clock. Really? What happened to the other 3 quarters of the game? What were they waiting for? Was this a rope-a-dope gone awry? No. This was a heartless, gutless showing.

Programs like Navy have nothing to rely on but heart while Notre Dame has a talent pool deeper than the Pacific Ocean. Navy won't ever play for the national title or have a nationally ranked recruiting class, but they aren't above seizing the opportunity. Saturday's game served as a case in point for the "On any given Saturday..." adage. Notre Dame looked to win simply by showing up. After an opening drive fumble turned into a Navy 7-0 lead, the Irish took a gut check they couldn't come back from. Navy outplayed ND all day long. By halftime, Navy was up 14-0. And in the end, Navy stood 2 points higher on the scoreboard and, on the road, beat Notre Dame.

The biggest blemish in Notre Dame's golden dome, though, was in Navy's reaction when the game ended. There weren't any reactions lending themselves to a "Nobody Believed in Us" week of preparation, no midshipmen rushing the field to celebrate with the team, no Gatorade baths for the coach; just a series of hand shakes and hugs for the Irish team they had just beaten. A series of events as such leads everybody looking on in the stadium and everybody watching on Notre Dame's national broadcast to infer that Navy expected to win the whole way--as there was never even a doubt to the outcome. That's what Notre Dame football has come to: Even Navy expects to win. "Play Like a Champion"? Please revise to read, "Play Like You're Relevant Today," because ND football is not. Not anymore.

We learned a lot about Notre Dame football on Saturday. We learned that they're not "back". We learned that they aren't as good as advertised. Most deflating of all, we learned that Notre Dame has no heart. All that "Play like a Champion Today" sign pounding and candle lit praying at the grotto amount to exactly nothing. Even with an unnervingly undeserved BCS bid on the line, Notre Dame couldn't beat one of the military academies.

Anchors away, boys, because there go the Irish all the way to the Meineke Car Care Bowl.
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