by Sean Heffernan

The Windy City is one of greatest places in the world to be a guy. A sports fan can find a professional sporting event almost every night of the year to attend. There are more sports bars and Irish pubs than any single drunk’s liver could handle in a lifetime. And the city is world famous for two of the greatest guy foods in history: pizzza and hot dogs. What else could you want in a city? Here’s my list of five things for a guy to do in Chicago, IL...

1. Enjoy the Best Baseball Town in America

The dislike between Chicago Cubs and White Sox fans is legendary and as fierce as any intercity rivalry in the country. I have a friend that will in the middle of any conversation burst into a “Cubs Suck” tirade without any apparent warning.

The Cubs’ Wrigley Field is one of the most hallowed sports venues in America. There’s truly nothing like watching the Cubs stumble all over the diamond and run face first into the ivy while sitting in the bleachers drinking a cold Old Style. Outside of the stadium awaiting you is block after block of bars and restaurants. Whether you’re looking for a sports bar, dance club, hole-in-the-wall, or reggae joint - you’ll have a good, dirty time in Wrigleyville.

On the Southside of town the White Sox have bragging rights after bringing home the World Series in 2005 (a feat the more popular Cubs haven’t done in over a century…seriously). The neighborhood might not be as trendy around the Sox’s U.S. Cellular Field as Wrigleyville, but the food inside the stadium puts The Friendly Confine's cuisine to shame. “The Cell” as its nicknamed has all the modern amenities Wrigley lacks as it was built in 1991 and since U.S. Cellular bought the rights in 2003 the stadium has been renovated regularly. After the game I suggest you hit up Schaller’s Pump for the bar’s legendary butt steak. It’ll kick your ass.

No matter if you’re a pompous yuppie of a Cubs fan, a classless degenerate of a Sox fan, or just a guy looking for a good time at the ballpark you’ll fit right in Chicago.

2. Viva Football/Futbol

It should tell you something that the most famous person in Chicago is none other than Mike Ditka - the mustached and pompadoured coach that led the 1985 Chicago Bears to the organization’s one and only Super Bowl victory. “Da Coach” eventually fell out of favor and was fired, but no one remembers that. In the fall, the city stops brawling over baseball and comes together to support the Monsters of the Midway. As it gets cold later on in the season, tailgaters’ polish sausage and Italian beef will keep you warm outside Solider Field. The Bears are on the front page of the Tribune and the Sun Times daily during the season, regardless if they are winning or losing. The team's home stadium may look like a weird spaceship from the outside, but inside it is a great place to watch a sporting event.

Bears tickets will, however, put a nice dent in your wallet. If you’re looking for a good time at a discount price, I suggest you opt for the type of football played just south of the city in Bridgeview, IL. Toyota Park is home to the MLS’s Chicago Fire as well as summer concerts, and the occasional national team game. I recently attended a Chicago Fire playoff game and sat in the Miller Lite deck. For the price of admission you get four beers and all you can eat concessions until the 20^th minute of the game. Needless to say I was a happy guy before half time with my pockets full of hot dogs and condiments. A Fire game is definitely one of the best bangs for your buck in the city. If you're into buck banging.

3. Go Watch the Ponies Run at Arlington

Your fortunes await you in the Northwest Suburbs at Arlington Park. Spend the entire day eating crab cakes, drinking cheap bear, listening to live music, and blowing as much or as little cash as you want at the over 80-year-old race track. You’re welcome at Arlington whether you’re a high roller or just a guy willing to part with a few bucks. You can dine on shrimp cocktail and filet mignon while wearing a monocle in the Million Room or slup it with the Regular Joes eating cheeseburgers and corn on the cob outdoors. People look forward to the track's trademark race, The Arlington Million, all year long when a million clams is awarded some midget on a horse. It’s a good time.

4. Eat Something Bad For You

Chicago isn’t famous for its salads. However if you’re looking for great guy food and willing take a few years off your life, you can’t find a better place than the Windy City. Chicago’s deep dish pizza is world famous with the likes of Gino’s East, Art of Pizza, Giordano’s, and Lou Malnati’s battling it out to be the best deep dish pie in Chicago. When I'm not in the mood for the city's trademark style of pizza making, I prefer to grab a jumbo NYC style slice and a free pop at Bacci Pizza for five dollars. Best deal ever.

When it comes to hot dogs you’d be hard pressed to walk down the street in most parts of Chicago and not run into a place that serves Vienna Beef wieners on a poppy seed bun with relish, mustard, tomato slices, dill pickle, sport peppers, celery salt, onion, and cucumber (can be smothered with cheese of course upon your request).

The Chicago style dog came about in the Great Depression when hot dog had to be your entire meal. Just don’t let any mustached Chicagoan catch you putting ketchup on your dog or you’ll get an earful. The general rule is for Chicago hot dog eating is that the dirtier looking the place the better the dog, but a few of the more popular places include Portillo’s, Superdawg, Gold Coast Dog’s, and Hot Doug’s.

Italian beef is another Chicago delicacy that no man should pass up in their lifetime. Hot beef on a warm bun dipped in Au Jus has probably killed more Chicago males than cancer in the last century. Al’s Beef and Buona Beef have taken the tradition into the mainstream, but they’re plenty of original places for a beef lover to sample all over the city.

If you want to avoid a heart attack or you’re a bit more of a classier individual, the city has some of the best restaurants in the country in every category imaginable, but personally I believe the city’s true soul is in its working class guy grub. Here’s to antacids! I think I just gained four pounds writing this article.

5. Laugh Until You Puke

For 50 years, The Second City has been at the forefront of improvised comedy. Since the theater opened in Chicago’s Old Town neighborhood in 1959, the company has expanded to Toronto and Hollywood. The theater’s famous alumni include John Belushi, Bill Murray, Chris Farley, Steve Carell, and Tina Fey. I went to see a show for my brother’s bachelor party and it was hysterical. A few months later I saw one of the actors on T.V.

Feature shows are always playing at Second City and training classes are available if you think you got what it takes to make people giggle. In the spirit of Second City a number of other improv troupes perform all over the city including the Improv Olympic and ComedySportz.

Chicago continues to be the leading city in American comedy so when you see a show you never know if you are watching the next SNL cast member or comic legend. So after you catch a game and eat entire deep dish pizza, go see a show and laugh until you puke.

Do you have any thoughts about what's a guy's good time in Chicago? Please comment below!

by Sean Heffernan

After announcing  he's through with Italian football, Pavel Nedved (Czech soccer legend and now former Juventus star) is considering a move to the United States to professionally. Recently, the MLS has been an attractive setting for players who are nearing the twilight of their careers.  Late career moves to MLS have played out successfully for players like Cuauhtémoc Blanco (Chicago Fire), Guillermo Barros Schelotto (Columbus Crew), and Freddie Ljungberg (Seattle Sounders FC). At 35, Nedved is coming off a stellar season with his long time club Juventus and can still perform at a very high level for at least a few more years.

 The best situation for the MLS would be if Nedved went to one of the bigger media markets America so to maxmize the exposure Nedved would garner. The L.A. Galaxy already has enough invested in David Beckham so I doubt they’d be in the market for another big name. Likewise, the Galaxy's Los Angeles rival, Chivas U.S.A., typically doesn’t splash money around on non-Latino players. Whereas the New York Red Bulls have big plans for next season with their new stadium opening and signing Nedved could be a good step in turning the club around after a dismal start to this year's season. I hope Pavel and his representation take Beckham's hardship in LA as a good lesson to go to a team that can win right away (unlike the NYRB). The Red Bulls might already have their sights set on bringing in Frenchmen Thierry Henry after next year’s World Cup.

 The New England Revolution are a step up from the NYRBs talent wise, especially if they ever get healthy with good veteran players in Taylor Twellman, Sharlie Joseph, and Steve Ralston on roster. Boston is still a pretty large media market and the Revs have a strong following. On the downside ,the Revolution have gotten off to a bad start so far this season and would need to come on strong the second half of the season to have any chance at making the playoffs. Also, the Revs don't have a soccer specific stadium so Pavel would be playing his home games in a half empty Gillette Stadium.

Chicago and Houston have the largest Czech populations in the United States according to the 2000 census so the Fire or the Dynamo would both be good fits for Nedved (who represented the Czech Republic in the 2006 World Cup). With the rumors that Blanco might leave Chicago after this season, Nedved could be seen as a replacement for the Mexican playmaker in the Windy City. Both Houston and Chicago are in first place in Western and Eastern Conferences currently, so the need for a player of Nedved's quality isn’t a immediate necessity for either club. However, Chicago has seen a dip in attendance this year so adding another big name might give them a badly needed boost in ticket sales.

Toronto FC is a good team with one of the best fan bases in the league and  BMO Field  is one of best soccer stadiums in the MLS. Yet, Nedved's agent remarked that the United States was a country that interested his client so based solely on those remarks you wouldn't expect Nedved to play for a Canadian team. D.C. United seemed to be in the mix for the Czech, but they signed former U.S. Olympic midfielder Danny Szetela this week making a move for Nedved unlikely. Real Salt Lake would benefit from a player like Nedved, but Salt Lake City may be too small of a market to attract that big of a fish.

I wouldn’t blame next year’s expansion team, the Philadelphia Union, to model themselves after the business model Seattle laid out last year when they signed former Arsenal star Freddy Ljungberg prior to their inaugural season. Ljungberg has been a real hit on and off the field in Seattle who've been selling out home games all year. The Union could sign Nedved and make him the face of the franchise before their club ever plays a game creating excitement around the club in Philly. If you’re going to model your sports team around a player, Pavel Nedved is not a bad choice. He’s a consistent professional who’s had a great career for both club and country.

Regardless of what teams are in contact with Nedved, I hope the MLS is doing everything in their power to make this move a reality. When David Beckham hit stateside two years ago the league hoped his arrival would convince more of the world’s stars to come to the MLS. Pavel Nedved coming to America would be nice victory for the soccer movement in this country. I hope it happens.

What MLS club should Pavel play for? Please leave your comments below.

Oguchi Onyweu: American Bad Ass

Oguchi Onyweu to AC Milan
After his performance in South Africa, American center back Oguchi "Gooch" Onyweu was signed by Italian giants AC Milan at the last hour. I'm sure Onyweu was a bargain for Milan, but I think the 6'4 towering defender has a real shot to earn some playing time this next season. ...The Serie A in Italy has been a largely unexplored league for American players and if Gooch finds success it could open some doors for US players abroad.

US Off and Running in the Gold Cup
As expected the US continued its good form from the Confederations Cup running over Grenada 4-0 in their opening round then outlasting a cagey Honduras squad scoring two goals in the second half to win 2-0. After the final game against Brazil in South Africa, Head Coach Bob Bradley was criticized for his substitutions that didn't prevent the Samba Kings for scoring 3 unanswered goals in the second half. However, in the Honduras game Bradley's insertion of Charlie Davies and Benny Feilhaber in remaining half hour of the game really made the difference.

Charlie Davies to France...
The hits keep coming for the US squad that shocked the world in South Africa. Forward Charlie Davies (who scored a pivotal goal against Egypt to help send the US through the group stage in South Africa) is headed to French club Sochaux from his former club in Sweden, Hammarby. Perhaps Davies will bring his trademark goal celebration "The Stankyleg" to Eastern France. I don't know a US international with a faster trajectory professionally right now. Congrats Charlie.

What to Watch
Saturday will be an action packed night for US Soccer fans as the Americans play Haiti in their final Gold Cup group stage game on FSC at 6 PM EST. At 7 EST ESPN is airing its MLS Game of the Week with a rematch of last year's Eastern Conference playoff clash between the Chicago Fire and Columbus Crew. Then after the US game Landon Donovan returns to LA to face intercity rival Chivas USA in the Superclasico on FSC.