As pitchers and catchers report and I buy tickets for my annual pilgrimage to Mesa, AZ, it’s hard to escape the feeling that this year could be ours. With the young, revitalized Hawks on top of the division, one has to wonder if it’s time for Chicago to end another drought. As the trade deadline looms in the NBA, we are offered a glimmer of hope towards a Bulls playoff run. Throughout all the trials and tribulations, ups and downs, living and dying with our teams, expecting nothing less than perfection, coping with disappointment and finally rejoicing when a team does it, rooting for Chicago teams is a truly unique experience…

“I hear that Cali never rains and New York’s all the Way”. I’ll let Pac keep cali and Hov can stay in that Empire State of Mind. Give me an Old Style, a hot dog with everything and 10 great songs from one great year. Give me 75 MPH on lakeshore drive…speeding towards The Drake and the Hancock with the water to your left, taking an “s” curve to reveal Navy Pier in all its glory. Give me wide open express lanes on the Kennedy barreling towards the greatest skyline on earth, emerging from Hubbard’s Cave in the middle of a glass and steel canopy that is the West Loop.

You can have your Coliseum, your Garden, your palatial new Stadium. Give me bricks and ivy, the Madhouse on Madison and a stadium that’s a living monument. Give me the Irish an hour away on I-80 and the Golden Eagles and hour north on 294.

Keep your models, actresses and PoweR Girls. Give me a chick who can drink me under the table, wake up in time Sunday NFL Countdown and really get what I mean when I say “I hate the fucking Packers”.(Holy shit! You’re wearing an Urlacher jersey and you made chili? What’s your name, soul-mate?)

Skip the ultra-lounges, nightclubs, bars with lines and doormen. I’ll take a Lakeview pub, a Jeff Park dive or a backyard. Give me a grill, a pong table (yes, it’s called “beer pong”) and a game of bags*.

I’ve seen most of the “coast” and a lot of the Atlantic Seaboard. I’d rather cruise the bizarre corridor of the Illinois Tollroad from Chicago to Milwaukee featuring such gems as a gold plated pyramid, that “study natural law house”, Apple Holler, The Brat Stop, Mars Cheese Castle and culminates in our neighbor to the north – which is only good for eating yourself into a coma or drinking yourself to death (also not a bad place to catch a ballgame).

When it comes to sports, don’t even fuck with us. This is a city with a sports following so rabid that fights break out between fans baseball teams that play in the same town. If pitchers and catchers haven’t reported yet, we don’t even waste time on our divisional rivals (but since we’re on the subject, FUCK the Cardinals.) Sports figures and fans can be made or broken in Chicago. Won the Superbowl in ’85? Take my first born! Snatched up 6 rings in the 90’s? You should run for Mayor! Try to catch a foul ball? Pay attention asshole! Bam! Death threats! Beat the Packers this week? You’re a future Hall of Famer! Lose to the Vikes next week? Bench that asshole! Being a Chicago sports fan goes beyond loving our teams, idolizing our heroes and vilifying the failures, it’s about hating (with a vengeance) our rivals. “Get the fuck out of here with that Donald Driver jersey! And look at this asshole! A Favre Vikings jersey!?!?! Do I really have to explain to you all the things wrong with that!?!”

Chicago sports is all encompassing. It covers every major sport, starting on the high school level and reaching all the way up through college to the pros and for every team we love, there’s even more teams we hate. It starts with where you went to high school. If you were blessed enough to come up in the Chicago Catholic League, then all suburban leagues are a joke and the Chicago Public League is a glorified basketball conference. Rivalries run deep in the CCL/GCAC and loyalties are not split. From basketball and baseball to hockey, wrestling, football even volleyball and soccer you won’t find too many fans of the Loyola Ramblers and the Mount Carmel Caravan or The Providence Celtics and Joliet Catholic Hilltoppers. Nobody in the history of Chicago has ever rooted for Regina and Resurrection or Loyola and Mother MacAuley. Whether it’s football, basketball or girls’ soccer, communities live and dies with their high school teams.

When it comes to collegiate athletics, the Chicagoland area is a hotbed of competition. To the South, you’ve got The Chief, to the east, The Irish, to the north, The Golden Eagles and to the west, The Wolfpack. You’ve got the Wildcats on the North Shore and the Ramblers and Blue Demons on the North Side with the Flames representing the South Side. Everyone in Chicago has their own allegiances and they stick by their team through good and bad. In Chicago it’s not who you root for or how you root, but that you root.

Chicago’s five major professional sports teams are the proud owners of a combined 23 titles as well as some of the longest title droughts in sports. Luckily, they also have some of the world’s most dedicated, bloodthirsty and absolutely insane fans. Fans who singlehandedly demolished disco in the 70’s, Superbowl Shuffled in the 80’s, rioted in the 90’s and who every year, without fail believe that this could be the year – for all of our teams, whether they last won it all in 2005, 1998, 1985, 1961 or 1908. It’s not about what happened last year, last month, last week, last game or last inning. In Chicago, we live in the now, we expect the miraculous, even the impossible. We know greatness, we know winning and we expect nothing less from our athletes.

Chicago has no casual fans. There’s no room for divided loyalties. We raise our sons and daughters not just to love the Bears, but to hate the Packers and the Vikings (more especially, any quarterback who’s played for both). It’s not enough just to love the Cubs. You must loathe the Sox and the Cards. The Knicks haven’t been relevant in 15 years? Yeah, well Ewing was still an asshole! And don’t even get me started in the mother fucking Pistons. Speaking of Detroit, Hawks fans of all ages will tell you that the most important fact you can know about hockey (more important than the Hawks all-time leading scorer, more important than any stat) is that DETROIT SUCKS!

So let me root, root, root for the home team – and only the home team. Let me down an a Hamms (or a Goose Island if we’re being fancy). Turn up “Saturday in the Park” and break me off a slice of Lou’s deep dish, toss me a fresh Cubbie Blue New Era cap, because there’s no city on Earth I’d rather put on for than Sweet Home Chicago.

*Ever try to describe a game of “bags” to someone not from the Midwest? “So, what’s the point?” “What? You try to get the bags in the hole and the first team to 21 wins.” “Yeah, but when do you drink?” “The whole time.”

-Wild

Garret Hartley being canonized in New Orleans

The NFC Championship for a moment seemed destined to be decided by the right boot of Minnesota Vikings place kicker Ryan Longwell. The broadcast kept cutting to the 35-year-old former Green Bay Packers kicker warming up as his teammates were moving the ball into field goal range with the score tied 28-28 with the New Orleans Saints in the final moments of the fourth quarter. 

This is what Longwell worked all year for: the chance to kick the game-winning field goal that would send his team to the Super Bowl. Former Packers team mate and living legend Brett Farve had gotten the Vikings down the field to where Longwell would have to kick a 50+ yarder to win the game. Not ideal conditions for Longwell, but he had done it before with his career long being 54 yards. Time was running down and head coach Brad Childress wanted to see if he could get a few more yards to make the kick a little easier. Longwell waited on the sidelines preparing himself for what would be one of the most important kicks of his career.

The trouble is that Longwell never got the chance. The next play Brett Farve rolled out to his right and rifled the football across his body spiraling into the arms of Saints’ defensive back Tracy Porter. On the other sideline 23-year-old Garret Hartley celebrated with his team mates at their team’s good fortune. The Saints had won a number of games this season in odd fashion and Farve’s folly only furthered the idea that they were a team of destiny.

Cajun luck continued to the joy of the 70,000 Saints fans in the Superdome as New Orleans won the coin toss giving them the ball first in overtime. Hartley began taking his warm up kicks as QB Drew Brees (a Farve-like folk legend in the making in New Orleans) led the offense onto the field. The young kicker had called his father the night before the game in the middle of the night to tell him he just had a feeling he would kick the game-winning field goal from 40 yards away on the right hash mark. Hartley was only two yards off. The Saints strung together a few passes aided by a crucial pass interference call against the Vikings setting up the Texas-born kicker for a 42 yard kick to win the game.

The New Orleans Saints had never been to a Super Bowl in their 43 year existence as Hartley lined up for the kick. The entire city hung in the balance as long snapper Jason Kyle snapped the ball back to holder Mark Brunell with the young kicker waiting to strike. Brunell set the snap down perfectly and just as Hartley envisioned the night before he drilled the pigskin right through the goal posts sending the Big Easy into ecstasy. Hartley will forever be remembered for that kick and beloved in New Orleans while Longwell will always wonder about the kick he never got to take. So goes the life of a NFL placekicker.

The Bears future is unclear

The news that former Bears defensive back coach Perry Fewell will be the next defensive coordinator of New York Giants solidifies the fact the Bears seem to be lost in their search for coordinators on both sides of the ball.

GM Jerry Angelo called these decisions the most important of his career since he first hired Lovie Smith in 2004. Perry Fuel seemed to be the perfect fit being that he was a sought after coach who Lovie was comfortable with bringing back to Chicago.

You can't blame Fewell for not wanting to come into situation in which if the team didn't make the playoffs then he'd likely be out of job again in a year. New York likely outbid Chicago as I can't see the McCaskey's sinking too much money into a coach who might only be there for a year.

Chicago's defensive talent also doesn't stack out to the potential that New York has so by all means Fewell probably made the right decision. But where does that leave the Bears? Lost.

The Bears did however hire former Minnesota Vikings head coach Mike Tice as the offensive line coach for the 2010 season. The hire left some people scratching there heads as it might of been premature to hire an assistant coach before you hire a coordinator, but one cannot underestimate the importance of an offensive line coach.

The last few games of the season were a tell-tale sign of how important the big guys up front were to the Bears success. Jay Cutler is a different quarterback when properly protected. Look at the success Brett Farve has had this season behind the offensive line he has in Minnesota. It also appears that center Olin Kreutz will be back next year as Tice met with the former pro bowler as a part of his interviewing process.

Despite the addition of Tice the Bears are still without an offensive coordinator and there are little clues in what direction the organization will go with the coaching vacancy. The position will most likely go to a promising NFL position coach willing to take the risks that go along with joining a coaching staff on the rocks.

Some names that have been mentioned as candidates for the job include Colts wide receivers coach Clyde Christensen and San Diego assistant head coach Rob Chudzinski. Whomever Jerry Angelo and Lovie Smith hire it will no doubt be a pivotal move for the Bears organization.
Who should the Bears hire? Any ideas? Can Lovie save his job in 2010? Share your thoughts below.

-Sean Heffernan

News reports out of South Carolina have confirmed that 26-year-old Chicago Bears defensive end Gaines Adams has died after being taken to the emergency room last night. The former Tampa Bay Buccaneer and University of Clemson star was pronounced dead at 9 AM ET Sunday morning in Greenwood, S.C. An autopsy is scheduled for Sunday to be preformed by a forensic specialist. Adams had played in the Bears final game of the year against the Detroit Lions and the coroner told local news stations that he was in apparent good health before the time of his passing. SCnow.com is reporting that Adams suffered an apparent heart attack and was rushed to the ER.

Exactly what it sounds like. And hilarious. Check it out after the jump.

By Sean Heffernan

The 2009 season wasn't pretty for Chicago Bears fans, but it's never to early to look forward to next year. The Jay Cutler trade made this season one of the most anticipated in history of the Bears organization which made the poor play on the field even harder to watch for the Solider Field faithful. For the Bears to avoid repeating the mistakes of 2009 they must make changes. Here's my two cents on what the big stories are for next season in the Windy City.

1. The Future of Lovie Smith

Lovie Smith will return next year as the head coach of the Chicago Bears having finished the season with two victories against Minnesota and Detroit for an overall record 7-9 in 2009. Since their 2006 Super Bowl appearance, the Bears have missed the playoffs three years in a row under Smith and have a under .500 winning percentage. Lovie’s saving grace is that the Bears owe Smith $11 million over the next two years. The McCaskey's fired Dave Wannstedt and Dick Jauron with one year left on their contracts, but insiders doubted they would let Smith walk away with that big of a check. Smith announced in a press conference Tuesday afternoon that he would not be the defensive coordinator in '10 in addition to being the head coach as was the case this season.  
 
2. Heads Fall at Halas Hall

Offensive Coordinator Ron Turner along with five other assistant coaches were not as fortunate as Lovie on Tuesday afternoon as they will not be returning to sidelines of Soldier Field next year. Turner had been under fire all season as the Bears' offense struggled both on the ground and in the air for most of the season. The additional assistant coached let go included Pep Hamilton (quarterbacks), Harry Hiestand (line) and Rob Boras (tight ends), and assistants Luke Butkus and Charles London.

Lovie Smith has will have the job this off season of hiring coordinators for both sides of the ball and filling in the assistant positions now left vacant. The incredibly unpopular Jerry Angelo will be retained for next year despite the public's call for his head. The Bears' GM was the talk of the town at the beginning of the season for his trade that brought Jay Cutler to town, but became a punching bag for pundits after most of his off season moves performed poorly in '09.

3. Can Cutler Carole the Curse of the Quarterback?

Jay Cutler was not quite the quarterback messiah fans had hoped he'd be when news first broke that  the Bears had acquired the former Denver Bronco. His season can be basically summed up in his stats: 27 TD, 26 INT.  Some of those interceptions you can credit to miscommunication with a young, inexperienced wide receiver core or the constant pressure he felt behind a poor offensive line, but you have to wonder how many more games the Bears would've won had Cutler made been better decisions with the ball. 

The lack of a running game didn't help Cutler and getting Matt Forte back on track next season could really take a lot off of the quarterback's shoulders. The Bears next offensive coordinator will have to find a way to reinforce the running game. The Bears would benefit from bringing in another running back to help carry the load on the ground as most successful teams in the NFL now utilize two to three running backs in their offensive packages.
 
4. A New Hope at Wide Receiver

On a positive note, one of the biggest worries before this past season was over the wide receiver position that lacked a true go-to-guy. As the season progressed, Johnny Knox became a deep threat for Cutler with his blazing speed and knack for making the big play. Devin Hester and former Vanderbilt teammate of Cutler's Earl Bennett both averaged 13.3 yards a catch as the Bears' leading position receivers.

 In the final few games of the season Devin Aromashodu showed signs of being a great target for Cutler next season catching four touchdowns. Aromashodu didn't see the field until week 10 which makes you wonder why Lovie & Co. didn't give this kid a shot earlier in the year.  The receiving core could benefit by adding an experienced player in the off season, but the wide out position is not on the top of Jerry Angelo's "To Do" list this coming off season.
 
5. Success Starts With the Big Boys
 
The difference in Jay Cutler's tremendous form the last two games of the season compared to the horrid stretch of ten games where the Bears only won twice could be credited to the fact that against the Vikings and Lions he didn't spend most of the game running for his life. Needless to say the offensive line is a position the Bears need to improve upon  in 2010 if they want to make a run at the playoffs. Future Hall of Famer Orlando Pace was an utter flop in Chicago at left tackle and looked very much like a guy who had played one too many years in the NFL.  

Chris Williams struggled most the year in his first season as a starter, but showed some potential the final few games of the year. Williams kept arguably the NFL's best pass rusher in Jared Allen at bay on Monday Night football when the Bears pulled off a riveting overtime victory over the NFC North Champion Minnesota Vikings. Williams along with veteran center Olin Kreutz should return to the lineup next season, but Pace and free agent signing Frank Omiyale need to be replaced for next season.  To do so the Bears may need to be creative with their limited draft picks or in free agency, but something has to be done.

On the other side of the ball a number of reserve players got valuable experience with all the injuries the Bears' defense racked up this year.  Brian Urlacher should be back for next year barring any more complications with his wrist injury that saw the six-time pro bowler miss almost all of 2009. Urlacher has always flourished when he's had two skilled defensive tackles to keep off opposing linemen from obstructing his path allowing him to use his speed and instinct to get to the ball.

This will be the first off season that Tommie Harris will not undergo surgery in three years and with hard work in off season he hopefully will return to his 2006 form. Harris' numbers were down this season and  he didn't endear himself to fans  when he was thrown out of a game against the Arizona Cardinals for punching an opposing player in the face. Anthony Adams had two six tackle performances in the final four games of the year, but was far from the dominant force the Bears need in the middle of the line. The Bears should look to add at least one more defensive tackle to compete for the job next year.

What do you think about Lovie Smith staying in Chicago for at least one more year? Where do the Bears need to improve the most? Share your thoughts below!

 

In an extraordinary turn of events the United States will play its first game of the World Cup in South Africa next summer against the country’s oldest rival, England. The draw is a promoter’s dream. Outside of Mexico, England is probably the best fit for the Americans’ as a natural adversary.

The United States was born out of kicking English redcoat butt and though Brits like to point out they burned down the White House in the War of 1812 everyone knows that the Fourth of July has to be a bitter day every year in jolly ole London. Another bone of contention with the English is the 1950 World Cup match where the US won 1-0 over England in Brazil which still pisses of old Englishmen despite no one in America having any idea that it ever happened.  

History aside, the USA got the best World Cup draw it has ever received for 2010 with its group consisting of England, Algeria, and Slovenia. No offense to the English, but the United States should really advance out of the group stage as Algeria and Slovenia are widely considered the weakest teams out of Africa and Europe respectively. Although every game is important in the World Cup, the US’s opener with the British will be the match up everyone will be watching.

Player for player England is a better team than the United States.  The Three Lions will be a handful for the American defense with world class stars in Wayne Rooney, Ashley Young, Frank Lampard, and Steven Gerrard leading the attack. All of England’s players play in the English Premier League (outside of a certain Mr.  David Beckham who plays in America in the MLS) which is arguably the world’s best league while the US will be starting some players who undoubtedly play in inferior leagues.

The Los Angeles Galaxy's David Beckham will be looking to sink the Yanks in South Africa

The US has upset the world’s best before as was the case this past summer at the Confederations Cup where the Americans defeated FIFA #1 ranked team in the world, Spain 2-0 and lost a heartbreaker 3-2 to Brazil in the final. The Confederations Cup was also played in South Africa so the U.S. will have that experience in their favor when the two countries meet in the Royal Bafokeng Sports Palace (where the US defeated Egypt 3-0 in the group stages of the Confederations Cup) on June 12th.

American players such as Landon Donovan, Clint Dempsey, Oguchi Onyweu, and Tim Howard have proven in the past that they can hang with top level players on a regular basis, but the rest of the US squad will have a lot to prove next summer when they step on the pitch with the world’s best. Throw in the history between LA Galaxy teammates David Beckham and Landon Donovan the game should be one of the most watched soccer games in America of all time.

 Hopefully the Big Wigs at ESPN do their best to pump up the game as to maximize the all the interesting storylines that comes with the match. Being a Revolutionary War nerd myself, I’d love to see some historical references put into the promotion, but I won’t keep my hopes up. A victory over England next summer would be one of the greatest sports achievements in international sport in our country’s history while it would send the British straight into national mourning.

The money and promotion ESPN is throwing into the World Cup will allow Americans to view the event in a completely unprecedented way bringing in more viewers. A good showing at the World Cup this summer could inspire some kid somewhere in the United States to become the next Cristiano Ronaldo or Lionel Messi furthering the development of the sport in America. So get your Red, White, and Blue flags ready for next summer and let's show those Limeys we can still kick it 1776 style.

 - Sean Heffernan

Are you looking forward to next summer's clash in South Africa? Share your thoughts below!

The Punk Kid is Now a Grown-Ass Man

The Answer answers

I have to admit, I've always been an AI apologist.  I was willing to look past the 'tude, the locker room disruptiveness, the thugged out image and of course "Practice?", because he was a six footer who went balls-out 82 nights a year, sacrificed his body, played hurt and stopped at nothing to help his team win.  Having said that, I have to say that Iverson did disappoint me from time to time and I had just about given up on his seemingly uninsurable ass when even the New York Knicks wouldn't take him.  But I was jazzed to hear he was returning to Philly and I was pleasantly surprised by his comments today (above).

In a week when we all learned that the god of the golf world was actually human, it was nice to see AI's human side as well. One thing that you could never say about Allen Iverson is that he's disingenuous (the same could never be said for Tiger and his squeaky-clean image) and it's clear that his feelings about basketball (and family) are very real.  And that right there is the difference between Iverson and Woods.  AI lives his life out there in the open.  He's honest, shows his flaws for everyone to see and allows us to learn from him.

We saw a new side of The Answer today.  An older side, a more mature side, a humble side.  His humility and his honesty should leave the rabid Philly fans feeling hopeful for the future of their once great ball team.  Glad to have you back, Answer.  Just wanted to say that.

-Wild

Sean as Gelnn Beck:

(Tearing up)”Do you remember a simpler game America? A game from your youth? A game where we all got oranges at halftime and Capri Sun when it was over? A game where it didn’t matter if you won or lost, because all the parents were still going to form that gay little tunnel for you to run through? You know in your heart that this is the right game for our country. Don’t let the naysayers and pigskin lovers at ESPN, FOX, NBC, CBS and the rest of corporate America lead you astray any more.

This is a game that flourishes throughout Latin America, the Middle East, Europe, even Africa. Why? Because people in those countries can’t afford equipment to play a real sport. And you know what America? If we keep frivoulously spending on footballs, shoulder pads, helmets and goal posts, we’ll be just like them. And THAT, that is how the terrorists win. It’s time to take some personal accountability America. We need to stop asking congress and the fat cats in Washington for bail outs in the form of cheerleaders, awesome violence and a sport that’s actually exciting to watch. It’s time to make our own soccer balls out of milk jugs and cow bladders and find a dirty alley, a patch of dirt or some other surface that is in no way fit for sport and say NO! No, I will not devote my entire Saturday, Sunday, Monday Night and many Thursday Nights to this abomination of a game you call football. Who is the genius that named it football? You can use your hands!!!!!

(Composes himself, walks over to blackboard) “It’s all there in black and white! Look at the word soccer. If you rearrange the letters and take a few out, you get SCORE. And that’s what it’s time to do now America. It’s time to look our fears in the eye and say “I’m going to score!” I’m not going to be afraid anymore. I won’t let myself be creeped out by boomer’s looks, personality and that “Whoop!” thing he does. Let’s Score America!”

(Flips blackboard over) “And while we’re at it, let’s look at ‘football’. What happens when you drop the ‘foot’ and add an ’s’? That’s right, you get ‘balls’ that’s because the liberal media and the socialist, fascist, anarchist, communist federal government wants.They want you to be distracted by Faith Hill’s ass and Tony Siragusa’s gut. I used to be a terrible person. But then I discovered soccer, a game that didn’t suck. And now I am the epitome of what it means to be an American. I’m better than everyone in the world.”

(Makes his way back to desk as tears well up, looks directly into camera) “And you can be too. Isn’t about time we went back to a simpler America? You know what I’m talking about. It’s the America we grew up in, where sports didn’t suck- where we had options other than The NFL or Nascar on Sunday afternoons. Yeah. I want that America back too. And it starts here. And it starts now. Drive your ass out to that shitty little stadium in the south burbs and cheer on a team with a bunch of guys you’ve never heard of playing a game you don’t understand for a team only loosely affiliated with your city. You know who likes football? Obama. And Al-Queada. Need I say more? The time for a soccer revolution is upon. The ball is in your court, er, field – no, no – pitch! The ball is in your, on your pitch, America. don’t let me down. Let’s take this country back. Goodnight.”

Glenn Beck you suck.  Soccer is boring.  Hef, you know I love you.

-Wild

 

by Sean Heffernan

The Windy City is one of greatest places in the world to be a guy. A sports fan could find a professional sports event almost every night of the year to attend. There are more sports bars and Irish pubs than any single drunk’s liver could handle in a lifetime. The city is world famous for two of the greatest guy foods in history: Pizza and hot dogs. What else could you want in a city? Here’s my list of five things for a guy to do in Chicago, IL...

1.      Enjoy the Best Baseball Town in

 The dislike between Chicago Cubs and White Sox fans is legendary and as fierce as any intercity rivalry in the country. I have a friend that will in the middle of any conversation burst into a “Cubs Suck” tirade without any apparent warning.

The Cubs’ Wrigley Field is one of the most hallowed sports venues in America. There’s truly nothing like watching the Cubs stumble all over the diamond and run into the ivy while sitting in the bleachers drinking a cold Old Style. Outside of the game awaiting you is block after block of bars and restaurants. Whether you’re looking for a sports bar, dance club, hole-in-the-wall, or reggae joint you’ll have a good, dirty time in Wrigleyville.

On the Southside of town the White Sox have bragging rights after bringing home the World Series in 2005 (a feat the more popular Cubs haven’t done in 100 years…literally). The neighborhood might not be as trendy around the Sox’s U.S. Cellular Field as Wrigleyville, but the food inside the stadium puts Wrigley’s cuisine to shame. “The Cell” as its nicknamed has all the modern amenities Wrigley lacks as it was built in 1991 and since U.S. Cellular bought the rights in 2003 the stadium has been renovated regularly. After the game I suggest you hit up Schaller’s Pump for the bar’s legendary butt steak. It’ll kick your ass.

No matter if you’re a pompous yuppie of a Cubs fan, a classless degenerate of a Sox’s fan, or just a guy looking for a good time at the ballpark than you’ll fit right in Chicago.

2.      Viva Football/Futbol

It should tell you something that the most famous person in Chicago is Mike Ditka the mustached and pompadoured football coach who led the 1985 Bears to the organization’s one and only Super Bowl victory. “Da Coach” eventually fell out of favor after ‘85 and was fired, but no one remembers that. In the fall the city comes together to support Da Bears. As it gets cold later on in the season tailgaters’ polish sausage and Italian beef will keep you warm outside Solider Field. The Bears are on the front page of the Tribune and the Sun Times regardless of their record. Soldier Field may look like a weird spaceship from the outside, but inside it is a great place to watch a sporting event.  

Bears tickets will put a nice dent in your wallet so if you’re looking for a good time at a discount I suggest you opt for the other type of football that is played south of the city at Toyota Park. The new stadium is home to the MLS’s Chicago Fire as well as summer concerts, and the occasional national team game. I recently attended a Chicago Fire playoff game and sat in the Miller Lite deck. For the price of admission you get four beers and all you can eat concessions until the 20^th minute of the game. Needless to say I was a happy guy before half time with my pockets full of hot dogs and condiments. A Fire game is definitely one of the best bangs for your buck in the city. .

3.      Go Watch the Ponies Run at Arlington

Northwest of the city your fortunes await you at Arlington Park where you can spend the entire day losing/winning money on horse racing, eating crab cakes, listening to live music, and blowing as much or as little cash as you want at the historic race track. You’re welcome at Arlington whether you’re a high roller or just a guy willing to part with a few bucks. You can dine on shrimp cocktail and filet mignon in the Million Room or eat a cheeseburger and corn on the cob outdoors at The Park.  People look forward to The Arlington Million all year in August when a million clams is on the line for some midget on a horse to win. It’s a good time.   

4.      Eat Something Bad For You

Chicago isn’t famous for its salads, but if you’re looking for great guy food and willing take a few years off your life than you can’t find a much better place than the Windy City. Chicago’s deep dish pizza is world famous with the likes of Gino’s East, Giordano’s, and Lou Malnati’s battling it out to be the best pizza place in Chicago.

When it comes to hot dogs you’d be hard pressed to walk down the street in most parts of Chicago and not run into a place that serves Vienna Beef wieners on a poppy seed bun with relish, mustard, tomato slices, dill pickle, sport peppers, celery salt, onion, and cucumber smothered with cheese of course upon your request.

The Chicago style dog came about in the Great Depression when hot dog had to be your entire meal. Just don’t let any mustached Chicagoan catch you putting ketchup on your dog or you’ll get an earful. The general rule is for Chicago hot dog eating is that the dirtier looking the place the better the dog, but a few of the more popular places include Portillo’s, Superdawg, Gold Coast Dog’s, and Hot Doug’s. 

Italian beef is another Chicago delicacy that no man should pass up in their lifetime. Hot beef on a warm bun dipped in Au Jus has probably killed more Chicago males than cancer in the last century. Al’s Beef and Buona Beef have taken the tradition into the mainstream, but they’re plenty of original places for a beef lover to sample all over the city.   

If you want to avoid a heart attack or you’re a bit more of a classy individual the city has some of the best restaurant in the country in every category imaginable, but personally I believe the city’s true soul is in its working class guy grub. Here’s to antacids! I think I just gained four pounds writing this article.

5.      Laugh Until You Puke

For 50 years Chicago’s The Second City Theater has been at the forefront of improvised comedy. Since the theater’s opening in Chicago’s Old Town neighborhood in 1959 the company has expanded to Toronto and Hollywood. The theater’s famous alumni include John Belushi, Bill Murray, Chris Farley, Steve Carell, and Tina Feys. I went to see a show for my brother’s bachelor party and it was hysterical. A few months later I saw one of the actors on T.V.

Feature shows are always playing at Second City and training classes are available if you think you got what it takes to make people giggle. In the spirit of Second City a number of other improv troupes perform all over the city including the Improv Olympic and ComedySportz.

Chicago continues to be the leading city in American comedy so when you see a show you never know if you are watching the next SNL cast member or comic legend. So after you catch a game and eat entire deep dish pizza go see a show and laugh until you puke.

 Do you have any thoughts about what's a good time in the Windy City? Please comment below!