Jul/100
Out My Window
Clarence Clemons
I often see strange and wonderful things out my window at work. I sit at the front of the office behind a big window with a view of the street. The window's shades prevent passerbys from seeing me, but I see them and all their weirdness. Our office is located in the Lincoln Park neighborhood of Chicago across the street from a Guitar Center and a Home Depot. The area sports a complete cast of characters: yuppies, stay-at-home moms (and dads), musicians, dog walkers, mental patients, etc. Though they cannot be simply be characterized simply be the aforementioned stereotypes, it gives you idea of what I'm working with.
Usually once a day I see something that makes me look twice. From where I sit, I've seen a gay hipster couple engage in a heated lover's quarrel, a man galavanting around with a full ninja sword, a thirty-something woman with hair down to her caboose sporting complete medieval garb, and a muscle-clad musician heading into Guitar Center built like a NFL running back wearing a full African dress and Ugs.
I echoed some of the awesome oddities I've seen to my coworkers, and they suggested I begin writing them down. I thought it over for awhile and concluded that it's highly unlikely that I ever secure a people-watching perch like the one I'm currently occupying, so why not try to occasionally capture it in prose. Who knows? Tomorrow my seat might be moved and this will be all for not, but I thought I'd take advantage of my window to the world while I can.
Today I saw...a dude crossing the street that looked like a ghetto pirate. He sauntered his way to the other side of the street like sailor still getting his barring on land after many anight at sea. It's possible that this was just his pimp walk, but the character was devoid of any said pimp cane. His pants were neon orange and I believe had cargo pockets, while he wore an ill-fitting summer sportcoat. Donning black shades and two different multi-colored bandanas, this man's life story quickly became apparent.
From what I could gather he was obviously a former buccaneer who had retired from chasing salty wenches, took a spell working construction on the highway, had auditioned as a keyboard player in Clarence Clemons' band, and now had finally dusted off his only suit jacket and stepped out into the cruel, cold world - like the millions of the nation's unemployed - to look for work. Godspeed my friend. Godspeed.
Mar/102
Ode to March Madness
The United States is a country obsessed with sports. That being said, there are really only a few annual sporting events that truly take over the public’s viewing interests. Football might be the United States’ #1 sport, but from mid-March to early April, the nation throws itself head-over-heels into in to a college basketball frenzy.
For months leading up to the NCAA Tournament fans hang on experts’ every last word, regardless of the fact that no matter how well versed people are in “Bracketology” chances are their bracket is going to suck. People might even enjoy lamenting how awful their brackets are during the tourney as much as they do watching the games Alumni gather all over the country to root on their alma maters and reminisce about their glory days. Dips of every kind are made in households across all 50 states, as families and friends meet to talk trash and watch the games.
The interactivity of March Madness cannot be rivalled anywhere else in the American sports landscape. People who have absolutely no day-to-day interest in college basketball fill out brackets. Everyone puts in five dollars for tournament pools with their coworkers, family members, or friends. Facebook and ESPN run huge campaigns encouraging people to fill out brackets online.
Las Vegas comes alive during the NCAA Tournament with sports fans coming in from all over to lay down some cash on the games. I have buddy who goes to Vegas with all the men in his family for the first two rounds of the tournament every year. If you can’t make it to Sin City, you can always do your college basketball betting over the Internet.
The tournament has become so successful largely because of upsets. Any team on any given day has a chance to win. It seems like every year a team that no one’s ever heard of makes a “Cinderella” run in the tournament, captivating the general public’s interest in the process. The story of the underdog never gets old. People want to see the Kansas’ and Kentucky’s of the Top 25 get upset by Mid-Majors like George Mason and Northern Iowa.
The idea of the underdog fits the American dream like a glove. Everyone loves the story of someone making something big out of something little. All it takes is some key free throws down the stretch of a ball game or one lucky three point shot and the impossible becomes reality. Almost nothing is impossible in the Big Dance. Sure a #1 seed has never lost in the first round, but it’ll happen eventually.
In the NBA you can almost predict before the season starts what four or five teams have a realistic shot of winning a NBA title. Look at the final scores in the NBA during the regular season. You’re lucky if there are one or two close games. When two teams step out on the court and lay it all the line for forty minutes people will watch. That’s what happens in the NCAA Tournament and for a solid month the public can’t turn away from the T.V.
When you watch the tournament this year, don’t spend the whole time worrying about if this will be the year you win your office pool. Don’t obsess over why you think your buddy is an idiot for picking all #1 seeds to make the Final Four or Wofford to upset Wisconsin. Just admire the way the intensity and unbridled emotion on the court. The game of basketball was meant to be played the way it’s played in March Madness. So just enjoy it.
-Sean Heffernan
Jan/100
A Tale of Two Kickers
Garret Hartley being canonized in New Orleans
The NFC Championship for a moment seemed destined to be decided by the right boot of Minnesota Vikings place kicker Ryan Longwell. The broadcast kept cutting to the 35-year-old former Green Bay Packers kicker warming up as his teammates were moving the ball into field goal range with the score tied 28-28 with the New Orleans Saints in the final moments of the fourth quarter.
Jan/100
Chicago Bears: The Last Girl To the Coordinator Dance
The Bears future is unclear
The news that former Bears defensive back coach Perry Fewell will be the next defensive coordinator of New York Giants solidifies the fact the Bears seem to be lost in their search for coordinators on both sides of the ball.
Jan/100
Chicago Bears DE Gaines Adams Dies of Apparent Heart Attack
News reports out of South Carolina have confirmed that 26-year-old Chicago Bears defensive end Gaines Adams has died after being taken to the emergency room last night. The former Tampa Bay Buccaneer and University of Clemson star was pronounced dead at 9 AM ET Sunday morning in Greenwood, S.C. An autopsy is scheduled for Sunday to be preformed by a forensic specialist. Adams had played in the Bears final game of the year against the Detroit Lions and the coroner told local news stations that he was in apparent good health before the time of his passing. SCnow.com is reporting that Adams suffered an apparent heart attack and was rushed to the ER.
Jan/101
Scottie Pippen Getting Hit Over the Head by Gary Coleman
Exactly what it sounds like. And hilarious. Check it out after the jump.
Jan/100
Five Thoughts on the 2009 Chicago Bears and Beyond
By Sean Heffernan
The 2009 season wasn't pretty for Chicago Bears fans, but it's never to early to look forward to next year. The Jay Cutler trade made this season one of the most anticipated in history of the Bears organization which made the poor play on the field even harder to watch for the Solider Field faithful. For the Bears to avoid repeating the mistakes of 2009 they must make changes. Here's my two cents on what the big stories are for next season in the Windy City.
Dec/095
US vs. England: A World Cup Dream for America
In an extraordinary turn of events the United States will play its first game of the World Cup in South Africa next summer against the country’s oldest rival, England. The draw is a promoter’s dream. Outside of Mexico, England is probably the best fit for the Americans’ as a natural adversary.
Dec/090
Five Things for Guys to Do In Chicago
by Sean Heffernan
The Windy City is one of greatest places in the world to be a guy. A sports fan could find a professional sports event almost every night of the year to attend. There are more sports bars and Irish pubs than any single drunk’s liver could handle in a lifetime. The city is world famous for two of the greatest guy foods in history: Pizza and hot dogs. What else could you want in a city? Here’s my list of five things for a guy to do in Chicago, IL...