Seriously, enough funny business.

I was waiting for the most opportune moment to come back on the BTeam, which is not dissimilar than Adam Dunn's waiting for the most opportune moment to start earning a paycheck. YAA! GOT HEEEEEMMMM! (ehem, Allow Brian Wilson to explain for me. ... It\'s gonna be a thing)

Never in all my absence from the blogosphere had I imagined having to so desperately contribute to the BTeam than when I saw Wild Bill's open letter to a Senator (Greg Ball, R - NY, for those of you keeping score at home) about inviting the GLBT community to the marriage party (Sidebar: Folks of all sexual preferences can now marry in the not-as-great-as-Illinois-state of New York. You're in for a rude awakening GLBT folks... I hear marriage isn't that rockin' of a party) followed by Hef's wildly passionate, insanely heartfelt, very public (kind of... a few randoms have to read this stuff, right?), and altogether sugary sweet ode to wifey a year to the day of the rockin'est version of marriage ever! ... EWWWW! COOTIES!

Way Gross. I feel like Bradley Cooper in Hangover 2. Next Stop: Bachelor Brunch at an IHOP! ... Oh, you're one of *those people* who didn't like Hangover 2 because "it was the exact same movie except it was in Bangkok instead of Vegas"? What could you possibly have been expecting?! Well since you're looking for the Coen brothers to also direct your brainless comedies, then I suggest you watch your The Royal Tennenbaums dvd on repeat until you blow your brains out. It's not funny. It's terrible. There. I said it.

More to the point, this is the best time to get back to business. Evidently, we need a reminder about what exactly our business is here at BTeamBombers: bullshitting about a topic, which holds no impact on our lives aside from pure immediate (dis)satisfaction, that piques our interest more than our self-selected career paths. Sports. With a Chicago Bias. I'm all for variety, but let's get back to the core for a bit here, gents. That's what we all signed up for, right?

That said, (I hate that kickstart phrase. "That said". It's so empty. Why did I use it? Because there was no better transition or segue. That's why.) there's not all that much good news out there on the sporting landscape these days. We're all over our euphoria that LeBron James will certainly never touch Michael Jordan. (Hey, did anybody let LBJ know how our real life problems are holding up? I've been meaning to get that letter out.) Being happy for Dallas ended as soon as we realized that Tyson Chandler is an integral energy piece to the Dallas Mavericks and is now fitted for an NBA Championship Ring. (Are You KIDDING ME!?!? He's an ENERGY Guy Now?! The most energy output in a Bulls uniform for Tyson was expended during nightly pouting sessions. GOD!) The NFL is in a lockout for another two weeks. (No good "Millionaires vs Billionaires" quips original enough for a parenthetical sentence. Meh.) Deadspin's most newsworthy pieces are various bartabs in the $200K neighborhood. (OH! Today's bartab was in English Pound currency. Intriguing!) Bill Simmons' Grantland.com project IS WHAT WE THOUGHT IT WAS. (I totally stole his stealing Dennis Green's 2005 press conference line about Da Bears. Tee Hee. He doesn't think too much of us little people writers, you know. Even though he himself is a former little people writer. It hasn't been since Randy Johnson rebuffed an entire clan of lepers for an autograph that one group felt so betrayed by its most successful peer.) Oh, and both Chicago baseball teams are complete and abject hot garbage. (True story. Be it side North or South, neither team is better than its Triple-A affiliate. Both teams are so bad that I'll even bet you watched The Voice on NBC last night. EWWW! CHRISTINA AGUILEIRA COOTIES!)

HOWEVAH! Not all is lost with Chicago's boys in Cubby Blue or Good Guy Black. We still have 3 should-be All-Stars! One of whom should be starting in the All Star Game in Phoenix come July 12. Who are they? Glad you asked. North Sider First!!

Starlin Castro

HO-LEE COW, can this kid play or what? (See what I did there? Big ups, Harry.) I watched every game of the Yankees-Cubs series over Father's Day Weekend and Castro is a fan's wet dream to watch. He's like Omar Vizquel in the field and Hanley Ramirez at the plate (minus the 20-25 HRs). And he's young enough to get in trouble for selling his game-used jersey were he in college. Lots and lots of upside up the middle for the Cubbies. It's just the rest of the infield, outfield, and pitching staff that blows. He could be like Kelly Leak in The Bad News Bears (the 1976 Walter Matthau, not that Two-Buck-Chuck Billy Bob Thornton garbage) just taking every ball hit in-play whether it be to his left, right, or right field. Then, at bat, he would lace pitches meant for ball three of an intentional walk to the opposite field wall for a triple. That'd be sweet. I'd watch that highlight.

The only thing this guy doesn't do is walk. If Moneyball is a worthy source, Billy Beane can't stand Latin players because they never, ever see a pitch bad enough to look at. In the book, Michael Lewis wrote, "They (Latin players) didn't walk their way off the island. They swung." Fair enough. For a frame of reference think Juan Uribe. ::All Fantasy Baseball Owners now say, "OOOOOHHHHHHH, Okay. Yup"::

I think Castro gets into the All-Star Game as a reserve infielder based on his performance in his last 30 days (.322 AVG / 38 hits / 6 steals) and his national exposure against the Yankees. No chance he starts over Jose Reyes, the leader in the clubhouse for NL MVP.

Honorable Mention for being fun to watch in 2011: Darwin Barney. Notice I did not exclude him in "Everybody on the Cubs Except Starlin Castro Seriously Sucks" bucket. That's because he's most certainly not the second coming of Ryno. He's not even the second coming of Eric Young. Fact of the matter is, he's got a long way to go and a lot to prove. But, knowing the franchise, Darwin Barney's just another fun rookie with a fun name passing through the roster (re: Julio Zuleta).

Now for the Good Guys! ::35% cheers, 45% boos, 20% empty, apathetic seats of silence::

Phil Humber

The man tips his cap to our allowing his pitching in his first All-Star Game

This prodigal son of promise and potential has emerged as the South Siders' staff ace, not to mention pitching coach Don Cooper's latest feather in his cap. Hard to believe that Humber "The Reclamation Project" started as Humber "The Mets #1 Pick in 2004".

Humber's made the most out of the least compared to any AL pitcher as he's taken multiple no-hit bids deep into games with 1 run or less of support from his should-be potent offense. One of those no-hit bids, by the by, was against the Yankees in The New Yankee Stadium. No small feat to keep a formidable lineup hitless in its own stadium until an A-Rod single up the middle in the 7th inning.

At 8-3, Humber's won-loss record puts him in the neighborhood of CC Sabathia's, another Yankee and the AL's second best pitcher this year, 10 wins.

He's certainly not starting the All-Star Game, but he should be in attendance to throw an inning. He's earned it.

Paul Konerko

YOU CAN PUT IT ON THE BOOOOAAAARRRRDDDDD!!!!! YYYEEESSSSSSS!!!

After a quick check on MLB.com for the All-Star Game voting, The Captain ranks fifth behind Adrian Gonzalez, Mark Teixeira, Miguel Cabrera, and Mitch Moreland. Wait... Mitch Freaking Moreland? Since when did the Texas Rangers have a surge in fans sufficient enough to keep Paulie in 5th place here? Konerko needs to start at first base for the American League.

You're about to call me a homer, aren't you? Well, yes. Yes, I am. Unabashedly so. But please refer to the numbers. As of 6/28, Konerko ranks in the top 5 in all three triple crown categories (HR / AVG / RBI). And he's done all this being the only hitter with a consistent bat all year on a team climbing the standings. He has absolutely no protection and he's still notched 21 bombs under his belt. If you're pitching against the White Sox, you're telling yourself, "No way am I pitching to Konerko. He's the only guy 1-9 with the stones to swing the bat right now."

The only first baseman I would have to think about taking over Konerko is Adrian Gonzalez, whose average is an awesome .357 with 70 RBI, but Gonzalez only has 16 HRs. I'm sorry, but when you're hitting clean-up in that BoSox lineup, there's no excuse to be trailing anybody except Jose Bautista in homers. There's just not.

I understand why Konerko doesn't have as many votes as a Teixeira or a Gonzalez. The fanbases for both teams are bigger by a large margin. And said fanbases will vote for all nine position players on their team as All-Stars. Remember when Jason Giambi in pinstripes or Mo Vaughn in red stockings would start the All-Star Game at 1B? Awful. I even saw flyers in the men's room the other day for Russel Martin's entry into the starting line-up for the All-Star Game. I don't think the Frenchman's so much as fouled off a pitch since May. How can he make the All-Star Game's starting line-up?

If forced to pick, very easily the AL MVP goes to Paul Konerko. Who else are you going to give it to? Curtis Granderson? Another south side kid and a UIC product, but no. Adrian Gonzalez? No. He hasn't had the pressure of carrying a team. He's only had the pressure of acclimating to a new team in a bigger market with higher expectations, although he's done it with slightly more grace than Adam Dunn. The only argument I can see is Justin Verlander. That man's good enough to throw a no-hitter every time out. He's successfully passed Roy Halladay as the best pitcher in the majors. Thank God for managers like Jim Leyland. He'll make a decision not by looking at a scorebook or a sabermetric trend sheet but rather by thinking for five minutes over a Marlboro Red and chocolate milk. It's not scientific, but I like it!

And there you have it. My "welcome back" entry. Not a single utterance of politics or lovelife milestones met. Maybe someday, but not today. For now, I'll just take my cuts, maybe hit a few on the screws, but mostly just keep it between the lines.

Blake

Did you add $50 to your cable bill to see these two go at it? Me neither.

Boxing is so irrelevant on today's sports landscape that its pulse barely registers. Saturday night's Pacquiao-Cotto fight generated more than 1 million pay-per-view orders and, yet, more people than not are waiting for HBO to re-run the fight on November 21st.

On the same night, UFC 105 aired live from England on Spike. For Free. With Randy Couture fighting in the main event. I can't remember the last time a major attraction fought on HBO's Boxing After Dark let alone on cable. Every major sport is on basic cable at least once a week showcasing a marquee matchup. Boxing, on the other hand, takes its marquee matchups, which happen every six months, and feels ballsy enough to charge $50 to watch on tv. What?! How does this make sense?

Fighters and promoters alike show such a limited business acumen and such an amazing shortsightedness (editor's note: "shortsightedness"... this word may or may not exist) in their continuing to distribute the product at an exorbitantly high premium. Why? And for what? The product is predominantly plodding, tired, and predictable.

Why can't boxing take notes from the other sports? Revenue is in advertising. And boxing has plenty of advertising (History Channel's newest show "Pawn Stars" received a shout-out courtesy of Michael Buffer), but boxing must not be charging enough. That's the only conceivable explanation for refusing to ditch the stubborn reliance on pay-per-view as the main vehicle for turning a profit, right? ...Right? The assumption becomes fighters can't make big enough purses without the pay-per-views. Maybe that's true; so here's something as a solution: Fight more often. Don't argue with me. Most matches consist of pawing and clutching. Sparring matches are tougher than the actual matches.

Hello, Capitalism! Advertising, Everywhere There's Advertising!

As I'm writing this, I realize that the model for boxing needs to reflect the WWE. Yes, the artist formerly known as the WWF needs to be the future of boxing. Without scripting the outcomes of each fight, boxing instantly becomes accessible. Accessibility breeds relevance, relevance breeds fandom, fandom breeds profit. Under the current model, boxing lacks any sort of legitimate marketing strategy. Timelines are too tight to drum up public interest in the face of the NFL, MLB, NBA, or the UFC. Hell, even tennis' majors and golf's opens accumulate more interest in the leading months and weeks than boxing.

Boxing currently works like this: announce the fight a year in advance, nothing for nearly 10 months as the fighters train and work up a hatred for the opponent, weigh-in & press conference during the week of the fight, and then fight night. Only recently did boxing have the smarts for HBO's 24/7. 24/7 is so amazing that I've had to completely swear off watching until the marathon airing the morning of the fight. And it does the same thing to me every time: I know who's going to win even though it's never who I want to win, the series manipulates both training camps to make me feel like the underdog has a legitimate chance to win, and I end up like Ralphie from "A Christmas Story" waking up on Christmas Morning ready to piss myself in excitement only to be disappointed in the end. That's right, Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather winning fights is like getting clothes for Christmas. Miguel Cotto, Ricky Hatton are the no-chance-in-hell-are-you-getting-this-for-Christmas Red Ryder BB Gun.

WWE Money says: "King of the Castle, King of the Castle."

Imagine that boxing carved out a night during the week, traveled to different venues, used a rotating roster of fighters, allowed the storylines develop themselves without scripting anything other than a fight card, and established a set amount of pay-per-view events per year. How does this not sound like awesomeness? I would be there every week on cable and every other month on pay-per-view. Think about it: all the obscure names become less obscure, all the household names penetrate more households. And, even better, fighters fight more fights. The only aspect of boxing that changes is the boxer's lifestyle: "Money" Mayweather buys luxury cars less, "Pac Man" makes terrible Phillipino movies less.

As unrealistic as this is, here's the most enticing part: more consistent exposure leads to more advertising opportunities leads to more money. This isn't just the best way for fans to experience boxing, it's the best way for boxing to generate a jaw-dropping ROI and the best way to lift boxing out of pay-per-view obscurity.

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Jimmy Clausen Dropping Back... out of the Top 25. Again.

Notre Dame did it again...

The Fighting Irish went 10 games before the smoke and mirror show was exposed like Peter Bretter in "Forgetting Sarah Marshall". Everybody in blue jerseys on Saturday evening were looking to cover their collective dongs when the final score showed Navy 23 - Notre Dame 21.

Can we all move on now? The Notre Dame Mystique thins every season; and now it's just about translucent. They just aren't a good football team. The coaching staff is lacking. The players don't get the job done. And the attention the program still garners is stomach-turning bad. 100% Serious: I'd rather watch a Kate Plus 8 Minus Jon marathon for a week straight than endure another proclamation that Notre Dame is "back".

Here's what makes Notre Dame even worse: Navy isn't good either. With this win--Navy's second consecutive win at Notre Dame Stadium--Navy qualifies for the Texas Bowl. Anybody care to fathom a guess as to whom Navy's going to see in the Texas Bowl? The Big 12's eigth place team, which currently looks to be Texas A&M. Notre Dame lost to the team who's not even a shoe-in to win the Texas Bowl.

With all the unjustified clout Notre Dame's golden domes carry these days, it's time to take the Irish down a few notches. Remember when Charlie Weis non-chalantly stated that his boys were as good as any of the top 5 teams? Let this serve as notice that Notre Dame certainly is not in the same league as Florida, Texas, USC, Boise State, TCU, or approximately 25 other teams.

Saturday's fourth quarter goes to show how terribly overblown Notre Dame is. The two touchdown scoring drives proved, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that the Irish should have been running circles around Navy's defense all day long. Even with the 23 points the Navy offense registered, Notre Dame should have put up 50. Those final touchdown drives for ND went for a combined 12 plays, 156 yards, 14 points in 2:24 of game clock. Really? What happened to the other 3 quarters of the game? What were they waiting for? Was this a rope-a-dope gone awry? No. This was a heartless, gutless showing.

Programs like Navy have nothing to rely on but heart while Notre Dame has a talent pool deeper than the Pacific Ocean. Navy won't ever play for the national title or have a nationally ranked recruiting class, but they aren't above seizing the opportunity. Saturday's game served as a case in point for the "On any given Saturday..." adage. Notre Dame looked to win simply by showing up. After an opening drive fumble turned into a Navy 7-0 lead, the Irish took a gut check they couldn't come back from. Navy outplayed ND all day long. By halftime, Navy was up 14-0. And in the end, Navy stood 2 points higher on the scoreboard and, on the road, beat Notre Dame.

The biggest blemish in Notre Dame's golden dome, though, was in Navy's reaction when the game ended. There weren't any reactions lending themselves to a "Nobody Believed in Us" week of preparation, no midshipmen rushing the field to celebrate with the team, no Gatorade baths for the coach; just a series of hand shakes and hugs for the Irish team they had just beaten. A series of events as such leads everybody looking on in the stadium and everybody watching on Notre Dame's national broadcast to infer that Navy expected to win the whole way--as there was never even a doubt to the outcome. That's what Notre Dame football has come to: Even Navy expects to win. "Play Like a Champion"? Please revise to read, "Play Like You're Relevant Today," because ND football is not. Not anymore.

We learned a lot about Notre Dame football on Saturday. We learned that they're not "back". We learned that they aren't as good as advertised. Most deflating of all, we learned that Notre Dame has no heart. All that "Play like a Champion Today" sign pounding and candle lit praying at the grotto amount to exactly nothing. Even with an unnervingly undeserved BCS bid on the line, Notre Dame couldn't beat one of the military academies.

Anchors away, boys, because there go the Irish all the way to the Meineke Car Care Bowl.
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Hit Me...?

Da Bears had their lunches handed to them. Jay Cutler looked Rextacular. Urlacher's done for 2009. The o-line looked like a set of turnstiles. The wide receivers are young. Forte couldn't get it going. It was the God Damn PACKERS!

Glad we got that out of our systems. We good? Everybody out of breath to stop yelling long enough for this?

IT WAS WEEK 1!!!!!!! RE-LAX! Jeez Louise... Am I the only one that feels like the "Gas Man" in Dumb & Dumber during the most annoying sound in the world scene? GUYS! GUYS!!

EHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!

It happened. Yeah, it was brutal. Tough to watch. And what made watching it worse is that it was a complete 180 of what Bears Nation was expecting to feel. We cracked beers for Sunday Night Football expecting to feel like Dirk Diggler and ended up feeling like John Wayne Bobbitt; which is to say we all felt completely emasculated. It was like not seeing your prom date naked after all the build-up.

Here's what we have to hang onto going into week 2 against the Steelers:

It's still Jay Cutler. It's not Rex Grossman or Kyle Orton or Chad Hutchinson or Henry Burris or Cade McNown or Shane Matthews or Johnathan Quinn or Craig Krenzel... do you get it or do I need to go on? It's not Chris Chandler or Moses Moreno or Rick Mirer (**Moment of Silence for Notre Dame's fallen program... Thank you very much**) or Steve Stenstrom or Mike Tomczak or Brian Griese. Okay, I'm done... or Dave Krieg. Seriously, I'm done. I promise.

Hunter Hillenmeyer filled in serviceably for Urlacher when he missed 7 games in 2004. Yeah, it was a long time ago, but that's how long ago it was since Urlacher served as a complete stud.

Brian Urlacher hasn't been the best linebacker on this team for 3 years now. Lance Briggs is this defense's stud.

The defensive line played well. The secondary held its own with the exception of Afalava's biting on the play action en route to Greg Jennings' winning touchdown catch. Chalk it up to a rookie mistake in his first NFL game. I'm fine with that.

Has everybody settled down now? Good. Week 2 against the Steelers will be a better measuring stick of how good this team can be anyhow. Let's call the start of this season the beginning of the cliche "The Hotter The Fire, The Harder The Steel". This Bears team is chock full of veterans top to bottom; and what's better is that the Bears have a cocky, yet respected veteran at the most important position on the field. (That's right, I just brought it back full circle to Cutler.) Everything is in place for this team to handle adversity. Simply put, they'll bounce back.

Look to see more of what Cutler put out in the second half. He'll be fine. He made Devin Hester look like a legitimate wide receiver, Johnny Knox look like a prime time deep threat, and Earl Bennett look like he had seen the field once or twice last season.

And that's just Da Bears as they relate to Jay Cutler.

Are you ready for the most uplifting--and overlooked--takeaway from the world's worst possible week 1?

The Bears lost the turnover battle 4-0 and STILL could have won the game.

Translation: Give it another few weeks before we all hit the Panic Button. Nobody was expecting another Super Bowl Shuffle in February 2010. Let's not confuse things. The reality is that this Bears team is still a 9-7/10-6 team with potential for the post-season only via the Wild Card. Isn't it a foregone conclusion that the Vikings are winning this division? Everything was magnified last night because it was Sunday Night Football, it was the Packers, it was Urlacher's last game of the season. Let's let this season breathe a little bit before we start pinning our hopes on the Blackhawks and Bulls.

Chill. Everybody just chilllllllll.

Does he have the body of work to get into Cooperstown?

Now with a perfect game and a no-hitter on his resume, it begs the question: is Mark Buehrle a Hall of Famer?

The Bombers debate in the latest forum

In the history of baseball, there have been 18 perfect games. The latest of those 18, of course, is Chicago White Sox left hander Mark Buehrle. In addition to his perfect game, Buehrle previously threw a no-hitter against the Texas Rangers in 2007.

Consider the names of the 5 other pitchers who have thrown both a perfect game and a no hitter: Cy Young, Addie Joss, Jim Bunning, Sandy Koufax, and Randy Johnson. Impressive, right? As a matter of fact, every one of those pitchers is (or will be in Randy Johnson's case) inducted in the Baseball Hall of Fame.

Does Buehrle belong?

Chris Cwik

Pros:
-Longevity - Buehrle was called up in 2000, he was only 21 years old. At age 30, he has already pitched 10 years in the majors.
- Durability - Over his 10 seasons in the majors. He has rarely been hurt and has had 8 straight season with over 200 innings pitched.
- Consistency - His 3.76 career ERA is well under the league average. He has only had one losing season out of his 10. Eight seasons with more than 200 IP.
-Achievements - Let's see, only the sixth pitcher to throw a no hitter and the perfect game.

Cons:
-Star power - Mark Buehrle is very good at what he does, but he has never been (and probably never will be) recognized as a superstar. He doesn't strike out many batters and throws in the mid-high 80s.
-Counting Stats - This is where Buehrle really struggles. The voters really consider things like K's and Wins. Buehrle has never won over 20 games in a season. As stated above, he doesn't overpower many batters and his highest K total was 165 in 2004. Not to mention, Buehrle only has 130 career wins. He would have to up his win total in the next 10 or so years to reach 300.
-Longevity - Let's keep in mind, Buehrle is about half way through his career. He has stayed durable and consistent thus far, but that could change as he gets older.
-Style - Buehrle relies on poise and control. What happens if he loses a few ticks off his fastball as he ages? Maybe hitters start to tee off against him. However, guys like Tom Glavine and Jamie Moyer pitched long into their 40s by relying on control and poise. Buehrle will need to pitch at least 10 more effective years to reach some of the counting stats the voters require.

Cwik: Mussina's bound for Cooperstown. Buerhle maybe?

Conclusion:
Buehrle has a long way to go in order to convince voters that he is worthy. However, the internet has enabled many stat-savvy writers to gain entry into the voting pool. These writers care less about wins, and more about the individual stats that pitchers put up. They may look at the fact that Buehrle put up an ERA well below the major league average, and that his team was the reason he hasn't won 20 games yet. In this way, he could very much be like Mike Mussina. Many stat-oriented writers thought Mussina was a hall of famer based on his consistency, strikeouts, and longevity. Many older writers pointed out that Moose never won 20 games in a season. Of course, that all changed when Mussina finally won 20 games in his final season. Now, it appears Moose is well on his way to the HOF. Buehrle is going to need to continue dominance over the next 10 years and hopefully luck his way into one or two 20 win seasons. With a little bit of luck, and a little bit of veteran savvy, Buehrle might just do it, but the odds are probably against him. Then again, there is nothing ordinary about Buehrle's career. Maybe he continues to defy the odds.

Blake

Gee... Thanks, Cwik. You basically just concluded that Mark Buehrle probably won't get in... but Maybe he does. Way to take a stance. You should run for office. "I don't necessarily think that the health care reforms will go through, but maybe they do." Who knows, right? Maybe he does, maybe he doesn't.

Here's what I do know: Mark Buehrle deserves a plaque in Cooperstown.

Looking at Cwik's Pros/Cons, Mark Buehrle's longevity, consistency, durability, and star power (from the cons listings) reminds me of another pitcher who started his career in Chicago...

Never struck out a lot of batters, relied on poise and precision, didn't light up the radar gun with mid-high 90s fastballs... C'mon, you're thinking it. Wild Bill's shitting himself... yup, he just realized it... Sean Hef not so much. He's reading up on Liverpool's Garrard's suspension or some foreign soccer shit.

Greg Maddux.

Greg Maddux is Mark Buerhle 1.0

Mark Buehrle is, not just comparable, but a dead ringer for Greg Maddux, a sure-fire Hall of Famer. Except Buehrle's better than Greg Maddux. Did that just blow your mind?

I hear feathers ruffling. And before you charge my Queens apartment with pitchforks and torches consider the following:

First, I'm conceding that Buehrle has never won 20 games in a season or a Gold Glove or reached 300 wins (and he won't. Buehrle has no desire to pitch for another 10-12 years) or a Cy Young (but this could should be the year).

The stats are a wash. Consider this, across the board, Maddux's numbers are fractionally better. And I stress fractional to the point that it's literally decimal points. A tenth of a point here, five tenths there... whatever. (http://www.baseball-reference.com/compare.cgi?top=/players/b/buehrma01.shtml)

The numbers wash when you consider that Maddux pitched in the NL for his entire career (weaker lineups with the pitchers hitting when compared to the AL with the DH) & Maddux pitched in more pitcher friendly parks than Buehrle (want to argue Atlanta's Turner Field, LA's Dodger Stadium, or San Diego's PetCo Park against The Cell? No, you don't.).

Both of Buehrle's history pieces came at home in a ballpark that sends off home runs like Hamas shoots off missiles. What makes the perfect game more amazing is that it was done in July when the ball was jumping off the bats... well, for the Sox anyways.

Mark Buehrle is Greg Maddux 2.0.. See what I'm sayin here?

So while Greg Maddux has 300 wins and 4 Cy Young Awards, he has neither a no-hitter nor a perfect game whereas Mark Buehrle--and only 4 other pitchers--has both.

Honestly, the only thing that's holding Buehrle's campaign up is the fact that he's been buried on some mediocre to bad White Sox teams. From 2001 - 2003, Buehrle was the only highlight of terrible Sox teams starring the oft injured Big Hurt's ankle, Magglio Ordonez's knee, and Carlos Lee's extra 30 lbs.

Think Greg Maddux would have his "star power" if he played with those craptacular Cubs teams in the 90s? Please, the Cubs were just as obscure as the Sox until Sammy Sosa started jacking 60 HRs a year.

Here's what Buehrle's final resume will most likely look when it's all said and done:

- 175 wins
- 3.80 ERA
- .600 Winning %
- No-hitter
- Perfect Game
- World Series Ring (a World Series in which he registered a save in Game 3)

Is he a first ballot Hall of Famer? There's no way the writers vote him in on the first go. Most likely, the writers put Buehrle in the hall on the 7-10th chance. But he's getting into the Hall, no questions asked.

Oh, and this just in tonight... Buehrle just added another bullet point to his resume: 45 consecutive batters retired. That's a major league record, kids. So like I said, Mark Buehrle's getting into the Hall of Fame.

Monty

Buehrle, 30, has thrown almost 2000 innings since being called up in 2000. Since then and entering Tuesday, he has a career ERA of 3.76, better than Mike Mussina and Andy Pettitte. In that same time, Buehrle has 133 wins, that’s more wins than CC Sabathia, Johan Santana and Curt Schilling. Buehrle has some nice credentials, but does that make him a possible Hall of Famer? Most likely not, Buehrle certainly has great aspects to his game, but the biggest difference between the hall of very good and the Hall of Fame is dominance. Granted, he has thrown a perfect game, one of 18 in MLB history to do so, Buehrle has never…

1. Won more than 20 games in a season, only won more than 16 once
2. Finished higher than 5th in Cy Young Voting, only one top five finish
3. Never struck out more than 200 hitters in a season, his highest is 165

Only one starting pitcher has a higher career ERA than Buehrle and has made the Hall that is Red Ruffing, who stopped pitching over 60 years ago. In fact, only 4 of the 75 pitcher in the HOF have an ERA of 3.60 or higher and of those players, Red Ruffing is the most recent to do so.

What do you Mean you forgot about RED RUFFING?!?!

In order for Buehrle to even be in consideration of the Hall, he needs to start dominating AL hitting soon and for a long time. Seeing as how unlikely that is, you can end the Mark Buehrle to the Hall discussion for now, if he gets to 300 wins, the discussion could be revisited. Mark Buehrle is reliable, sturdy and always good for a quick game. He may not become a Hall of Famer, but, having a World Series ring, hitting a home run, being a four time all-star, throwing two no-hitters and a perfect game is not bad to have on the resume.

Final Forum Verdict: 1 vote supporting, 1 vote opposing, and 1 vote twiddling its thumbs more nervously than Woody Allen. Bombers scorecard can't predict Mark Buehrle's Cooperstown destination. Blake fervidly holds that, while his is an opinion completely biased and partial, that Buehrle's going to the Hall and the Special Guest Bombers don't know shit from a hole in the ground. Monty straight up says, "No. Show me more." (Ask how that approach worked out for Pacman Jones in Vegas for me, will ya, pal?) And Cwik just pre-maturely ejaculated.

So what do you think? Buehrle adding the HOF to his autograph: Yes or No? Let us know how you see it.

Rock, Pitch, Catch.

You know it's a good moment when you feel like the credits are about to roll in a John Cusack movie.

Every sound drowns out as white noise and every movement seems to be in slow motion--especially in retrospect.

Allow me to set the scene:

I'm at my desk in Manhattan's Midtown East--a stone's throw from the Chrysler Building. The amount of work I have in front of me is suffocating. My desk is another area FEMA hasn't yet gotten to. I have publisher contracts, terms & conditions documents, notes, to-do lists, and empty bags of delivered deli sandwiches.

The game is in the top of the 6th and I'm using a supervisor's MLB.tv password, watching the game on "Mini View" positioned on the lower right hand corner of my screen, scrolling through the box score to get caught up. "God Dammit," I thought to myself, "I need to put the day games into my Outlook calendar." I always forget about day games until about an hour after first pitch. I remember them when I first sit down to my desk in the morning, but I never seem to be able to keep the thought around the time the game's set to start. As I scroll through the box score, I'm seeing a string of zeros that I need to double check.

Numbers are about 73% of my day in Excel. Check the formulas, check the format, make sure everything lines up, make sure nothing stands out, each row of numbers tells a story. The story in this string of zeros in the box score through 5.2 innings isn't something I've ever seen before while looking at the box score to see how the game's been going. No hits. Seveteen at-bats for the Rays, no hits. Errors? I scroll down to the Sox defensive notes below the offensive stats. None. No Errors. "Alexei must be awake this afternoon," I said to myself. Holy Shit! The White Sox have a perfect game going. Who's pitching? It's Buerhle. Wait... Buerhle?

Baby Buerhle

He's been the Sox's staff ace for 8 years now. I remember seeing him as a rookie in 2000 in the ALDS against Seattle, a series in which the Sox were swept. He hasn't changed much since. In fact, the only thing about Mark Buerhle that has changed is his now-I-have-it-now-I-don't facial hair (remember 2002's mutton chop sideburns? yeesh... And, yes, I had them too. Eventually.) and his habit of sliding on the tarp covering the infield during rain delays (a habit broken by threats of $5,000 fines from the front office). Mark Buerhle is the Everyman. He's such a relatable, regular guy that nobody ever gives him his due. Even I, the South Siders' biggest ambassador in New York when Obama's not in town, seem to glance over Buerhle when thinking of my Sox. And you know what? That's by design. That's exactly how Buerhle wants it. He takes the mound once every five days and follows a robotic pattern: rock into motion, pitch into the strike zone, and catch the return throw from the catcher. Rock, pitch, catch. Rock, pitch, catch.

Back to the top of the 6th: Kapler's up. I can never count Kapler out of anything. He's a stubborn son of a gun. Somebody told this guy he's too old to play. Somebody else set him up as a manager of a minor league team. What happens next? He says, "Screw these punk kids in the minors. I got somethin' else to give." Now he's in the second season of his second career as a big league ball player. Disney made "The Rookie" one Ray too early.

Gabe Kapler would have been a better story than Jim Morris.

Kapler grounds out to Boy Wonder Gordon Beckham at third: 5-3. Six innings perfect. It's still early though. There's still 3 more innings. That's one full swing through the line-up that includes 5 All-Stars (Pena, Longoria, Zobrist, Crawford, and Bartlett). Three more perfect innings is a lot to ask for from a guy that hopes--no,wants--you to hit the ball.

Bottom of the sixth. I have a meeting about a presentation for a campaign not set to launch until September. I sit through a re-group itching to get back to my desk to see what happens with Buerhle. Does he close or does flirting with the perfecto end at rubbing the small of its back? Meeting over. Perfect.

I get back to my computer, wake up my screen, put in my password just in time to see Gordon pop out to Pena at first to end the inning. But I don't care. I've already filed through the highlights of Josh Fields' grand slam (See what you did there, Josh? Job well done, sir. That's called hitting and we'd like to do be able to do it at a consistent clip. Thanks.) Great. Inning over, now let's get to the good stuff.

I scramble for my headphones during the commercial break between innings. "Hawk has got to be going nuts. I'll bet he's vibrating in his seat and Stoney is just wondering how the hell he could be sitting next to such a impartial homer of a Sox fan," I say to nobody in particular. Nobody outside Chicago knows or appreciates the greatness of listening to a Hawk Harrelson in the booth during a game. You don't feel like you're watching the game having to deal with intermittent comments about this pitch, what the manager said about that player, or any of that nonsense. No, you're watching the game with your overexcited old friend, uncle, grandfather. You're watching the game with somebody who shares your passion for the Good Guys--somebody who's heart is as black as yours during the summer.

He doesn't call the game. He cheers with you.

Found 'em. Earbuds go from my iTouch to my computer. And, yes, as I expected (hoped?), Hawk can barely contain himself. First batter of the inning, B.J. Upton. I don't care how much he struggles, he's nasty. And I'm willing to bet at this point, he's reeling to redeem himself for misplaying Alexei's line drive the night before. Not this time, B.J. grounds out to Alexei. 6-3. 8 outs to go.

Carl Crawford: Changeup right back at ya, Mark. 1-3. 7 outs to go.

The crowd's really getting into now. Every strike, every foul ball: it's all the most anticipated event of the day. In fact, I don't think I can handle this. I have enough work to keep me busy for the next millenia. I have approximately 175 unread emails sitting in my inbox. I really do have to get this stuff done, though. I don't want to create more work for my team as a result of my watching a perfect game that can very possibly still go sour any minute. But when will this ever happen again? I don't know. I can't predict things like this. My grandfather went an entire lifetime without having seen a White Sox World Series Winner. Nope, can't do it. I'm watching every second of this god damn game. Work's going to be there for the next 60 years of my life; perfect games and no hitters happen to your team once or twice in your life if you're lucky.

Evan Longoria: One pitch. Changeup. One can-of-corn fly ball to Jermaine Dye in right. 7 innings of perfect baseball.

I end up straying back to my Outlook to see if anybody's freaking on an "ASAP" basis. Blow it out your ass, ASAP. You'll get your deliverables, I'll hit my deadlines. Just work with me here. I answer 3 emails, organize 2 powerpoint slides, and manage to escape to take a leak so I won't have to miss any of the 8th or 9th.

I'm so excited that I can't handle it. My stomach's tighter than the OTHER Jay Cutler. The bodybuilding Jay Cutler. I haven't had a feeling this tight in my stomach since high school when, you know, I wasn't 25 pounds of beer and chicken wings. Without thinking, I commit the cardinal sin. I'm going straight to baseball fandom hell. "Hey, Buerhle's perfect through 7." And to the next guy, "Buerhle's perfect through 7." And to the VP of Research who knows everything there is to know about baseball, "Hey, Brad, Mark Buerhle is pitching into the 8th. Hasn't let a runner reach first. No hits, no walks."

No... I never had a single muscle like that. But you could imagine if I did, right?

Brad won't ever know it, but he's getting the call from the bullpen today. Dad couldn't make it to New York on such short notice. Brad's getting the spot start as the closest thing I can relate to as family. "Buerhle's got a perfect game going? Aw, come on, Will, I don't care about those Pale Hose," he says with a young man's antagonistic smirk on an old advertising VP man's face. "Let me turn on the radio. You can sit in my office and listen." I love this guy. "Man, act like I don't got this game on my computer taking up the full screen right now. Come on over, Brad. It's about to get wild over here." He lets out a knowing laugh. "My mistake, Will. How could I call you into question like that."

I forgot to take my piss. Jesus Christ... The game's back on and I've got a crowd around my desk. Three guys from the other side of the office floor, the guy who sits kitty corner to my desk, and a mix of people who pass by my desk but get tractor beamed back, I imagine, by the crowd hovering at my desk and what ends up being on the screen. A couple of women unhook themselves after they find out "it's only baseball". Thanks for coming, but this wasn't meant for you anyways. A couple others stay, "A perfect game? That's all strikes, right? I only know Randy Johnson did it like 2 years ago or something." Fair enough, A for effort. Please stay. Enjoy this with me.

The bottom of the 7th passes with my co-workers asking me to fill them in as if I've been watching the whole game. I haven't, but I talk like I do. After all, I've seen the highlights, right? The volume of the game is on my speakers now. No more earbuds, this is getting full volume. My dad ends up calling me, "Did you hear? We're trying to get it on the TV, but I don't think we have cable." He's always amazed when I tell him that I'm watching the game, or listening to it, at work. "They let you get away with that?" It's as if I'm stealing from the vault at Fort Knox. My brother IMs me. He pulls odd jobs and random tasks for one of the people in my dad's office. It's not a career choice, it's just a place to be online to bullshit with his older brother and his friends on AIM. He tells me they can't get the game on the TV because A.) the company doesn't have cable set up and B.) WhiteSox.com, MLB.com, ESPN.com, et al are all blocked. Nobody can see this unless they file into a bar on Clark St in downtown Chicago, which is funny because imagine how the office came to find out about it when the people coming in from the bars on Clark St came to talk--too many non-sequiturs and discrepancies to talk about here. If you're watching a PERFECT GAME over a Liquid Lunch on a Thursday, why go back to the office? You smell like booze and you're only thinking about the perfect game, right? Just go back to the bar and then go home.

Top of the 8th. I'm still on the phone with my dad, crowd's still around my desk. Here's where it starts to get surreal.

I can hear people talking behind me, almost as if I'm not there, while I'm on the phone with my old man.

"Look at this kid... he's gonna lose it with 2 outs in the 9th and we're just gonna move on. This is the biggest thing of his summer and we're sitting here trying to figure out how we forgot Chicago has two teams?"

"Yeah, really. I don't even like baseball. I just know that a perfect game is a big deal, I guess. Look at him. On the phone with Dad, his AIM's blowin' up all orange. This is pretty cool for him, I guess. I'm actually pretty jealous."

"Okay, Will." The voices are directed at me now. "Enough with the small talk with Dad, close the IMs, maximize the game. What are you doin' here?"

"Hey, Dad?" I say, "Lemme call you back in a bit. I got a crowd of anxious New Yorkers to deal with here."

First Up, Carlos Pena. His stats show up across the screen. 24 HRs? Jesus, this guy's a monster. Glad I drafted him in fantasy. But to hell with my "High School Never-Weres" ESPN.com fantasy team. I'm watching a fantasy right this second. First pitch to Pena, called strike. The crowd at the Cell cheers nervously with excitement. I'm getting chills and my right starts bouncing (I get antsy when I get worked up. You won't see it in my face, you'll see it building in my right leg. If you see it in my face, it's already too late. I'm about to snap.) It doesn't matter how quickly Buerhle works here. Each pitch, each stall between his rocking into motion, his pitching, and the umpire's call all culminate into held breaths and exhales mixed of relief, torture, and anticipation for the next pitch.

Second pitch to Pena: Changeup fouled off. OH, MAN! Did he just miss that, I thought.

Third pitch: STEEEEE! Pena goes down looking on a fastball on the outside corner, belt high. In other words, Pena looked at a meatball. He should have put that ball into Indiana. He knows it. Tail between his legs, Pena goes back to the dugout.

Ben Zobrist. I love this guy too. Goes about his business; and business is good. I'm nervous.

First pitch curveball fouled off. Ball. Foul ball for strike 2. Ball 2. Ball 3. Zobrist fouls out to Gordon Beckham on a changeup.

Two outs in the eighth. This is happening. It's going to happen. No way can he just let it go from here.

Pat Burrell. New to Tampa this year after a World Series Championship in Philadelphia and a career of underachieving.

Changeup called strike 1. YEAH, BABY! Here we go! Slider is absolutely RIPPED just barely foul of the left field line. It's so close to ruining everything that the ball spun around the umpire up the line. Any closer and it would have had been up to the home plate umpire to make the call. Thankfully, replays showed the 3rd base umpire to have seen it before his less than graceful twirl. Foul ball. Honest to God, that just felt like the final scene in Rookie of the Year when that guy who looked like Ogre from Revenge of the Nerds hammered the pitch from Hen-hen-ree-ree Row-ow-wen-wen-gard-gard-ner-ner-ner.

After everybody's settled down, Buerhle throws a fastball for ball 1. Fastball fouled off. Changeup fouled off. 1-2 count. Ball 2. 2-2. Changeup low and away softly lined to Beckham. Still perfect. Even more nervous. Jesus Christmas! Your mother fries good eggs!

Bottom of the 8th, the conversations continue. "I can't watch this. I don't know what you want from me... I blame my parents for making me a typical utterly neurotic New York Jew." My, that's a revealing statement. I'm going to leave that alone.

"CALL YOUR SONS! CALL YOUR DAUGHTERS! CALL YOUR FRIENDS! CALL YOUR NEIGHBORS! MARK BUERHLE HAS A PERFECT GAME GOING INTO THE 9TH!" ugh... Hawk said the same thing when Gavin Floyd had a no-hitter going last season against Detroit. Floyd ended up giving up a hit almost as soon as Hawk dropped that line. I swear to God if the same happens here...

The bottom of the 8th isn't much. Nobody cares. The Sox had already put up 5 runs. The game is won, but the perfect game remains. Oh, Carlos Quentin? You're back? Nice! Turn it on for us in the second half, big guy.

The camera's on Buerhle in the dugout. He's not by himself... no, this isn't the YES Network whereby once a week I'm subjected to a shot of David Cone or David Wells sitting by himself in the dugout. Buerhle's openly talking about it, it appears. He's playing grabass in the dugout. Hawk and Stoney are making note of it too. "Buerhle's not that type of player. He's not superstitious whereas so many other ball players traditionally have been. Yeah, he's throwing a perfect game and everybody knows it. He's not going to keep it a secret."

"Hopefully this doesn't backfire," I think to myself.

The bottom of the 8th passes with Beckham flying out and Jason Nix striking out. Sox fans at US Cellular go wild in anticipation of what's coming next. The stage is set for Mark Buerhle to, again, etch his name into history. What song do you think is running through his head right now? If it were me, I'd definitely be a Bruce Springsteen song. "Darkness on the Edge of Town", maybe? Does he go out for the ninth the same way he went out for the first with AC/DC's "Thunderstruck"? Or does he go out there only with the chills on his neck?

For the ninth, Ozzie puts Dewayne Wise into centerfield, moves Scott Podsednik to left, and takes out Carlos Quentin. Sorry, big guy, we aren't going to risk a perfect game on a dieing quail and your plantar fasciitis.

First batter of the ninth inning, Gabe Kapler. I'm fine with this. The 7, 8 ,9 batters are up in the ninth and Buerhle's been dealing all day long. We're good.

First pitch is a changeup called for a ball. The crowd moans. The umpire isn't going to give Buerhle's place in history to him easily.

Kapler tips the fastball from Buerhle. Just missed it. There's been a lot more foul balls in the late innings. The batters are seeing the ball better and getting a feel for how catcher Ramon Castro is calling the game.

Changeup fouled off. Two strikes. COME ON!!

Fastball. Ball 2. 2-2. Here we go, Buerhle. C'mon, kid. In my head, I'm reverting back to talking like I actually still play baseball as opposed to being fat just watching it. God damn, I want this to happen. I want to see this go all the way through.

Another fastball fouled off. Now I'm getting sick. Kapler's seeing the ball well enough to put his bat on it. It's only a matter of time before he puts it in play--

Oh, God. He just smacked a fastball--thigh high, inner half of the plate--to the power alley in left-center. He didn't hit the cover off the ball, but that's solid contact.

Wise is on his horse. He's going to run through the wall to catch this ball. He better. For his sake. The crowd around my desk just gave up on perfection. Not me. No way. Dewayne Wise might not be able to hit, but he can play the outfield for damn certain. Keep on goin, D-Wise. Keep Goin... Keep... Goin...

Holy Hell!

He's at the track... Leaps... THE BALL IS IN HIS GLOVE... at the wall, his body snaps like a crash test dummy... he hits the ground... he's getting up... AND SHOWS THE BALL!! HE GOT IT! YES! YES! YES! DEWAYNE WISE CAUGHT THE BALL! HE STOLE A HOME RUN FROM GABE KAPLER TO KEEP PERFECTION IN TACT!

The replay shows Wise bobbled the ball and almost put the perfect game into the centerfield grass. Nobody would have blamed him for the effort, but disappointment would have settled over US Cellular Field and Second City's Second Summer Franchise. Hawk calls it the greatest catch he's ever seen consider the circumstances. (Yeah, hyperbolic. But that's a different discussion.)

Everybody in the stadium, in my office, goes absolutely nuts after that catch. Nobody could actually believe a no-name defensive substitute made the play of the game to keep the perfect game intact.

The replay of Buerhle's reaction to the catch shows his stomach dropping and hopes crushed and then a facial expression that only said, "Thanks, Dewayne." He deals with it and moves on to whoever's up next.

Michel Hernandez. Strikes on swinging. I do my own strike 3 arm pumps and the crowd at The Cell is on its feet.

2 outs in the 9th. 1 out to go.

Hawk Harrelson can barely contain himself and Steve Stone can't get so much as a word in between Hawk's cheers.

Jason Bartlett comes to the plate hoping to be the guy to break up the perfect game. No team wants to be no-hit. There's just no dignity in not registering a single runner in a Major League Baseball game.

First pitch fastball. Called strike 1.

This cheer is notably louder than in the 7th and 8th innings. You can feel the excitement, the electricity. After Wise's catch, there's absolutely no chance that this perfect game isn't going through.

Fastball. Ball 1. Another fastball. Another ball. 2-1, hitter's count. Against an All-Star.

Unbelievable

Buerhle snaps off a slider. It will be his last pitch. And, appropriately so, a ground ball. A tailor-made ground ball, at that, to Alexei Ramirez at short. Alexei scoops the ball, flings it over to Josh Fields at first, and Celebrate. Exhale. Go Nuts. Soak it in. 6-3 in your scorebook to close out the perfect game for Mark Buerhle.

Hawk goes nuts, "Alexeeeeeiiiiii... YES! YES! YES! MARK BUERHLE! A PERFECT GAME!"

People now begin to linger back to work--back to reality. Myself included. But for those 45 minutes, I felt absolutely amazing witnessing a piece of history for my team.

We witness history more regularly than we'd all realize. Whether it be a Presidential news conference, an issue of the New York Times, or a baseball game, we all witness history but sometimes fail to acknowledge it.

Not this time, though; not for me. I rode that high of Mark Buerhle's perfect game for the rest of the afternoon as I received hand shakes and congratulations from every baseball fan in the office as though I had pitched the game myself. Silly, right? Wrong. Other fans appreciate the feeling of witnessing a player on your team accomplishing something so surreal that it's only happened twice in franchise history.

Before he left that day, Brad walked by my desk on his way out. "The Pale Hose! That Ozzie Guillen... he looks like a genius with that defensive substitution. Not bad, Will. Not bad at all," a ribbing is coming. I feel it, "Now only if people cared about the White Sox..." Yup, there it is. I know he's kidding. I've grown accustomed to the different type of humor on the East Coast and it serves me well.

A very typical New York sentiment, though, about so many topics: "Now only if people cared..."

Here's the thing, I don't need anybody else to care about my White Sox. I know I love my team more than I detest anybody else's. I'm content with that. And Mark Buerhle doesn't need anybody to recognize his perfect game. He knows he did it, he'll talk about it until his next start and possibly for the White Sox 2009 Season commemoration DVD. He doesn't need everybody to fawn over his accomplishment. In fact, he's already sick of talking about it. He's on to the main goal here: Win. Or Die Trying. Because, really, that's all that matters to Buerhle, whose outlook is representative of the entire team. Just go out there, do your job, and do it right. Rock, pitch, catch. Rock, pitch, catch.

Roll the credits. Happy ending. And with no White Sox to watch tonight, I've just added a slew of John Cusack movies to my Netflix.

Dr. Feel Good

Will the Northside and the Southside come alive?

The All-Star Break. No, not that 4-day set depriving us of action on the diamond. No, that 4-day set allowing us to take inventory on whether or not it's time to start looking to football season.

After the All-Star Break and a weekend series' worth of baseball, let's have a look at how each division is shaping up and who the big players are in each division...

Fighting out of the Windy City...

It's a rare occasion when Chicago's two baseball fan-bases can get excited about what lies ahead in August & September.

Fighting out of the blue corner, the Cubs look like a new team coming out for the dog days of summer. Did Rammy's coming off the DL mean that much? When did this turn of events happen? The team went from Ryan Dempster's broken toe and a "Oh, no, not again," to a four game winning streak out of the break? Everything about the Cubs organization is straight from Bizarro World.

Think about it like this: the Cubs next series are against the mightily struggling Phillies, the Dusty Baker led Reds, the Astros, and the hot/cold Marlins while the Cards take to the road against the Astros, one game against the Nationals, and the cream of the 1st half's crop Dodgers.

2 weeks ago this team was utterly depressing and just about out of it as the Taste of Chicago was taking over Grant Park. Now? This is the National League's most exciting prospect. A lot could happen here.

So typical Chicago... Cardinals win the Division. Cubs miss the Wild Card, but barely.

On the South Side, things are looking up--Jose Contreras' loss of control Sunday aside.

Alexei Ramirez, Konerko, Dye, Thome, Podsednik, and AJ are firing on all cylinders. And how bout them young guns? Gordon Beckham shows he's an everday player while Josh Fields' potential withers away on the bench; and Chris Getz is letting his bat catch up to his always impressive defense. The Sox are set on offense. The front office won't work to acquire anybody either: Carlos Quentin is coming back and he's going to show he's not just a one season fluke.

On the mound, Buerhle has been spot on all season (minus the misstep in Minnesota going into the All-Star Break), John Danks and Gavin Floyd have returned to form from last season's breakouts after a rough first month and a half. Clayton Richard is a growing concern, though. He's looked terrible for two solid months. After a self-reassignment to Triple-A, Jose Contreras is back. When he's on point, he's untouchable.

The only glaring concern that I can see lies in the bullpen. There's not one arm I'm comfortable with on that back end. Bobby Jenks almost gave away 2 games in the last month. Saturday's game to Batlimore (a 4-1 lead became a 4-3 win) and another to Minnesota (the only game the Sox won in that series). Scott Linebrink and Octavio Dotel aren't scaring anybody either. Matt Thornton's solid against left-handed hitting, but he's very hittable from the right side of the plate.

All that considered, though, it doesn't matter whether it's the bullpen or the starting rotation because Kenny Williams is already working. Do not be surprised if the White Sox are one of the teams that are offering final bids to the Blue Jays for Roy Halladay. Will Halladay end up a Good Guy? Probably not, but Kenny Williams is going to fight tooth and nail to be involved in that conversation.

The Sox are overtaking the Tigers before the month's over, winning the division, and headed to the playoffs. Mark it down.

The Powerhouse Division

The AL East.

Who's in: Boston (currently in first ahead of the Yankees by 1 game entering Monday), New York, and Tampa (4.5 games off the lead)

All signs point to Boston on this one. The starting pitching is endless. In fact, they have too much with Brad Penny dusting off his jersey once in a while. Big Papi's not back, but it's amazing what some eye drops can do for a portly Dominican. The rest of the lineup, excluding Varitek, is dirty. Theo Epstein seems to have an answer within the organization for everything. Julio Lugo, you suck? No, problem... enter Jed Lowrie and Nick Green.

The Yankees have too many questions in their bullpen and on the lower third of its lineup. Nick Swisher is hitting a miniscule .236, but, in fairness, does have an OBP around .370. Johnny Damon looks decrepit anytime he plays. A-Rod's gonna fade--again. And does anybody know how Mark Teixeira is going to hold up in August and September with the New York media begging him to throw somebody--ANYBODY--under the bus? I think he cracks. Tino Martinez he's not. (Sidebar: At Yankee Stadium on Sunday, I saw people wearing "Teixecutioner" t-shirts. Really? Too soon. I can't respect a play on a man's name to dub him a cold blooded killer when that man takes a bored billionaire's Twitter personally. Contribute in a win against Boston and post all the 75 character messages you like. Until then, you're just another Yankee free agent signing that hasn't contributed to one of those 26 championships. Live in the Now!)

So there's all that, and then there's the sidebar mentioned winless streak this season against Boston. If this keeps up, two or three most series against Boston and the Bronx Bombers quickly become Brown Bombers.

The Tampa Bay Rays are a different beast altogether. The team's youth has worked against it this year whereas last year it was its biggest asset. Not to worry though, the Rays will put it together and make it close in the weening weeks of September. And there's a team nobody's talking about in the running for the Roy Halladay Sweepstakes. Quick: name another team in the American League with more tradeable assets up and down the organization other than the Rays? You... in the back... Who just said the Royals. Leave the room and good day, sir. I Said Good Day, Sir!

Boston wins the division, Yanks miss the playoffs (GASP!), and so do the Rays.

The Sleeper Division

The AL West.

Mainly, it's The Sleeper Division because two-thirds of the country is sleeping by the time these games are played. But, honestly, I wouldn't be surprised if the AL West shifted the playoff balance and had 2 teams in the post-season this year.

Angels win the division, Rangers win the Wild Card.

Mark my words, Rangers in the playoffs. AND MORE JOSH HAMILTON STORIES! (Here's hoping for the Rays to really have a strong second half.)

Quadruple-A

The National League. Is there a less interesting half of a league in sports? Jeez this half of the big leagues is mediocre.

Wanna know what ends up happening here? Dodgers get to the World Series and lose 2 games in the process of the post-season. That's it.

Phillies win the NL East, but big deal. The Braves' biggest pitching weapon is "Small Game" Javy Lopez and the Mets have officially mailed it in. (Paging David Wright: You're still hitting above .325, your team is the most frustrating in baseball, and your new stadium has taken away 7 home runs according to the New York Post's approximations. Might be time to find a home that's not so... crackpot.)

Giants win the Wild Card, but that team is Divisional Round and done.

So hold off on all your NFL talk, Chicago. Neither Chi team will end up winning the World Series, or even a playoff series for that matter, but we've got plenty to watch from our summer boys come fall. Keep your Cubs and Sox hats firmly positioned on your heads and keep your Jay Cutler jerseys in the wrapping for a few weeks more.

Every little leaguer dreams of being featured on SportsCenter one day... and even though my day has yet to come, the overarching website of which I am apart of is here! haHAAA

Sean Hef received his 2nd nod on the SportsCenter Blog Buzz. This time for his thoughts on Carlos Boozer's possibly coming to to the Bulls via a 3 team trade.

Congratulations, Big Guy... even though you clearly illustrated yourself as a meathead for asking John Paxson (not Gar Forman) to pull the trigger and somehow counting an 11-man starting lineup for a basketball team. Small oversights indeed.

He's a meathead, but he's OUR Meathead.

Welcome Back, Rick Reilly.

http://sports.espn.go.com/espn/columns/story?columnist=reilly_rick&id=4299149

Reilly offers his best article in a long, long time. How acting like you were still playing high school sports could make your 9-5 that much better.

Because, remember, the beatings will continue until morale improves.

Chicago Biases

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/cubs/chi-07-cubs-ramirez-chicago-jul07,0,3685292.story

First, Dave van Dyck's detailing of Rammy's return to the field last night.

http://www.chicagotribune.com/sports/baseball/whitesox/chi-07-white-sox-bits-chicago-jul07,0,1465006.story

Second, Sox Beat Writer Mark Gonzales' detailing of how Gordon Beckham is heating up and settling in at the hot corner for the Pale Hose.

From the Artist Formerly Known as Sports Illustrated

http://sportsillustrated.cnn.com/2009/writers/jon_heyman/07/06/midseason.awards/index.html?eref=sihpT1

Even though the mighty have fallen, always worth while to see who's taking home imaginary mid-season hardware for individual performance. This edition: MLB

I'm Pretty Sure the Last Time I Heard The Sporting News Mentioned was in Bull Durham

http://www.sportingnews.com/mlb/article/2009-07-06/mlb-power-poll-biggest-first-half-surprises

But what's better than quick notes on baseball's first-half surprises?

From the Pioneers at DeadSpin

http://deadspin.com/5308468/diagramming-sarah-palins-full+court-press-metaphor?skyline=true&s=x

Was anybody else caught off-guard on Sarah Palin's full-court-press-as-a-resignation? ... Yeah, weird.

You Can't Trust 'Em for Calling Out Irregulaties in Politics, but They Did All Right With This One

http://www.nytimes.com/2009/07/07/sports/baseball/07injuries.html?_r=1&hp&pagewanted=all

The New York Times, everybody! Good read going into why there's such a ridiculously high population on the Disabled List this summer.

Believe It Or Not, They Still Have Baseball in Baltimore

http://www.baltimoresun.com/sports/orioles/bal-sp.cowherd02jul02,0,4009446.column

... But nobody's buying the Orioles-Fans-As-The-Forgotten-Tortured-Fanbase-Not-From-Chicago-Boston-or-Philly.

Most Rational, Most Realistic Michael Jackson Article Since... you know...

http://www.newsweek.com/id/204296

Newsweek still exists apparently... same with Life. who knew?

Enjoy all these reads... all of them supremely better written and more articulate than my ramblings. Working on an MLB All-Star piece that I'll have ready for you by week's end just in time for the All-Star Break.

The Headline

Roger Federer won his 15th major yesterday by defeating Andy Roddick in an amazing match. A 16-14 5th set won it for Federer and left Roddick with yet another gut check loss. ...

It really looked like Roddick was going to pull it out, too. The turning point, though, came in the 2nd set when Roddick had 3 unforced errors allowing Federer to win 16 straight points to clinch the 2nd set.

Roddick was good enough to win yesterday; in fact, Roddick should have won. But in the end it was Federer, much the same way the Yankees win so many playoff series, and his audience of Pete Sampras and Bjorn Borg that were too much for Roddick to handle.

I'd love to see Andy Roddick bounce back in the US Open. It might just be enough to rouse the American fans' interest in tennis reminiscent of the Jim Courier, Andre Aggasi, Pete Sampras days.

Manny's Back!

Amazing what a 50 day absence will do to a man.

Can anybody else remember Manny Ramirez digging hard enough on a grounder to make it a close play at first let alone having reason to argue with the umpire?

Hopefully, this is a new leaf for Manny. The biggest story about Manny from last week stopped being how he's a major attraction in Albuquerque, New Mexico, and turned into "Why is Manny Getting a Free Pass from the Fans?"

Maybe because the press has been giving Manny a free pass since he was picked off of first base, while still in his pre-dreads Cleveland Indians days, by Javy Lopez in the 1995 World Series. For the last 15 years, it's all come down to "Manny Being Manny". The beat writers, the commentators, the ESPN achors all let it boil down to "Manny Being Manny."

So where does this leave everything as of the free pass on steroids? It leaves us here: Manny's an asshole. And we know it. A complete and total douchebag that can flat out rake. Also worth noting that his team proved it's the best team in baseball without Manny Ramirez. When a team's winning, there's really not a whole lot to complain about.

So Manny's a d-bag and the Dodgers are solid top to bottom. Agreed? Muy Bien.

Rasheed Wallace Agrees to Sign with the Celtics & Jason Kidd Promises to Sign with the Mavericks.

Perfect. And both teams are eligible for tax cuts because they support more Baby Boomers than social security.

Celtics are still the 3rd best team in the East and will be out of the playoffs in the first round.

Mavericks lost relevancy 2 years ago.

Now THAT'S how you run a franchise.

Let's Talk About Shock Value

Steve McNair's death is officially ruled a homicide.

Now THIS is shocking. A quiet, soft-spoken NFL quarterback never linked to anything even remotely foul took two the head and two more to the chest.

Over the last week and a half, people have been stating their states of shock over the death of Michael Jackson. MJ's death doesn't even compare to Steve McNair's death in terms of shock.

How could anything Michael Jackson did, including death, after 1994 serve as shocking? You could have told me anything about Michael Jackson--literally, anything--and I would not have been shocked. He was easily the craziest person not accused of being a serial killer of the 20th century.

Possible MJ Scenarios that Wouldn't have Shocked Me:

1.) Michael Jackson's joining the preisthood.
2.) Michael Jackson's attemtping to adopt a baby from Nigeria.
3.) Michael Jackson's joingin the priesthood and then adopting a baby fron Nigeria.

Throw in the fact that found next to Steve McNair was his mistress. Sure, it's assumed that professional athletes all have one or two extra women on the side, but to have both pro athlete and his mistress executed mafia style? Now THAT'S crazy.

And as of 11:07 AM today, Nobody's uttered a word about it.

Crazier than pretty much anything Michael Jackson ever did.