How Do You Spell Obscurity?? P-A-Y. P-E-R. V-I-E-W.

Did you add $50 to your cable bill to see these two go at it? Me neither.

Boxing is so irrelevant on today's sports landscape that its pulse barely registers. Saturday night's Pacquiao-Cotto fight generated more than 1 million pay-per-view orders and, yet, more people than not are waiting for HBO to re-run the fight on November 21st.

On the same night, UFC 105 aired live from England on Spike. For Free. With Randy Couture fighting in the main event. I can't remember the last time a major attraction fought on HBO's Boxing After Dark let alone on cable. Every major sport is on basic cable at least once a week showcasing a marquee matchup. Boxing, on the other hand, takes its marquee matchups, which happen every six months, and feels ballsy enough to charge $50 to watch on tv. What?! How does this make sense?

Fighters and promoters alike show such a limited business acumen and such an amazing shortsightedness (editor's note: "shortsightedness"... this word may or may not exist) in their continuing to distribute the product at an exorbitantly high premium. Why? And for what? The product is predominantly plodding, tired, and predictable.

Why can't boxing take notes from the other sports? Revenue is in advertising. And boxing has plenty of advertising (History Channel's newest show "Pawn Stars" received a shout-out courtesy of Michael Buffer), but boxing must not be charging enough. That's the only conceivable explanation for refusing to ditch the stubborn reliance on pay-per-view as the main vehicle for turning a profit, right? ...Right? The assumption becomes fighters can't make big enough purses without the pay-per-views. Maybe that's true; so here's something as a solution: Fight more often. Don't argue with me. Most matches consist of pawing and clutching. Sparring matches are tougher than the actual matches.

Hello, Capitalism! Advertising, Everywhere There's Advertising!

As I'm writing this, I realize that the model for boxing needs to reflect the WWE. Yes, the artist formerly known as the WWF needs to be the future of boxing. Without scripting the outcomes of each fight, boxing instantly becomes accessible. Accessibility breeds relevance, relevance breeds fandom, fandom breeds profit. Under the current model, boxing lacks any sort of legitimate marketing strategy. Timelines are too tight to drum up public interest in the face of the NFL, MLB, NBA, or the UFC. Hell, even tennis' majors and golf's opens accumulate more interest in the leading months and weeks than boxing.

Boxing currently works like this: announce the fight a year in advance, nothing for nearly 10 months as the fighters train and work up a hatred for the opponent, weigh-in & press conference during the week of the fight, and then fight night. Only recently did boxing have the smarts for HBO's 24/7. 24/7 is so amazing that I've had to completely swear off watching until the marathon airing the morning of the fight. And it does the same thing to me every time: I know who's going to win even though it's never who I want to win, the series manipulates both training camps to make me feel like the underdog has a legitimate chance to win, and I end up like Ralphie from "A Christmas Story" waking up on Christmas Morning ready to piss myself in excitement only to be disappointed in the end. That's right, Manny Pacquiao and Floyd Mayweather winning fights is like getting clothes for Christmas. Miguel Cotto, Ricky Hatton are the no-chance-in-hell-are-you-getting-this-for-Christmas Red Ryder BB Gun.

WWE Money says: "King of the Castle, King of the Castle."

Imagine that boxing carved out a night during the week, traveled to different venues, used a rotating roster of fighters, allowed the storylines develop themselves without scripting anything other than a fight card, and established a set amount of pay-per-view events per year. How does this not sound like awesomeness? I would be there every week on cable and every other month on pay-per-view. Think about it: all the obscure names become less obscure, all the household names penetrate more households. And, even better, fighters fight more fights. The only aspect of boxing that changes is the boxer's lifestyle: "Money" Mayweather buys luxury cars less, "Pac Man" makes terrible Phillipino movies less.

As unrealistic as this is, here's the most enticing part: more consistent exposure leads to more advertising opportunities leads to more money. This isn't just the best way for fans to experience boxing, it's the best way for boxing to generate a jaw-dropping ROI and the best way to lift boxing out of pay-per-view obscurity.