The Morning Stretch

The Headline

Lebron, you asked for help. You got it. You definitely got a big body to go down low.

The Phoenix Suns agreed to send Shaq to Cleveland for Sacha Pavlovic, Ben Wallace, the No. 46 pick in the draft, and $500,000. MAKE IT RAIN!

The trade solidifies a few things for us going into tonight's draft: ...

1. Phoenix has officially entered Rebuilding Mode. Amare Stoudamire and Steve Nash might be on the move next.
2. Cleveland wants to win yesterday. That's the only reason Cleveland would trade for Shaq who's definitely running on low in the gas tank. He's got 1, Maybe 2, more solid seasons left in him. Would you believe it if I told you that Shaq's still putting up 17.8 points, 8.4 rebounds, and 1.4 blocks a game? More than that, would you find it equally as or more shocking that Shaq actually played in 75 games last year averaging 30 minutes a night? Me TOO! Really, I had no idea... I blame this on ESPN for sucking in its west coast coverage. The jury's still out on your LA Sportscenter...

As for the Rest of the Draft...

Blake Griffin goes first, Thabeet goes second (he'll suck, by the by), Rubio third, and Stephen Curry goes either 6th or 8th. Do any of those guys make a difference next year a la Derrick Rose? Nnnnnope.

The rest of the class is filled with 6th men, roster fillers, and D-leaguers.

With that, the Chicago Bulls select...

Nobody of any consequence.

I've had my fill of guys with solid college pedigrees (Hinrich from Kansas, Jay Williams/Duhon/Deng from Duke, Noah from Florida, etc.). If new GM Gar Forman goes anywhere near DeJaun Blair (achy-breaky knees, no heart), Tyler Hansbrough (all heart, too many miles), or Nick Calathes (PG out of Florida), I'm already claiming it a true Cubby Blue "Wait Till Next Year...".

Rumor mill's really churning hard on Kirk Hinrich's leaving the team this summer, if not tonight. If it's tonight, it's the No. 26 pick and Kirk Hinrich to Portland for Travis Outlaw and another guard. ANOTHER GUARD!

For the love of all things naked and alcoholic, show me a 4 or a 5 with B+ offensive ability downlow. Outlaw has some offensive ability (~13 pts per game, 1 offensive rebound per game), but I want a big body down low that's ready to bang.

Since there's nobody like that in the draft outside of Blake Griffin, I motion to mortgage the draft to get an established big man. The two options here are, in order of likelihood, Amare Stoudamire and Chris Bosh. I'd prefer Chris Bosh, but I'd settle for Amare Stoudamire--and it hurts to say that. Amare Stoudamire will play no more than 50 games next year and miss the entire post-season. Mark my words.

For Some Reason, People are Still Surprised Yao Ming's Big Ass Foot is Still Broken...

Wake me in February to talk about an NBA center that's constantly nursing a sore foot.

LSU Chalks Up Its 6th CWS Title...

Behind it's powerhouse offense.

After pouncing on the Longhorns for 4 early runs, Texas tied the game but couldn't put anything else together. LSU put up 6 more runs before the 9th as it brutally beat the hell out of Texas' pitching.

Every Texas pitcher looked scared shitless to be on the mound. Ouch.

In somewhat unrelated news, I'm roadtripping to Omaha next year to hit on every LSU sister, girlfriend, wife, and mother. The more mardi gras beads, the better. And upon my return, I'll be speaking Cajun dialect.

One City, Two Teams

Hopefully, I can say it for certain this time: The White Sox look to be putting it all together. HA! Noooo, I can't. But still... it could be worse. It could be the Cubs. Did anybody else see the embarrassment in Detroit? Even when I wouldn't mind--hell, I'd even prefer--a Cubs win, the Cubs just can't make it happen. Jesus God.

The Sox nutted all over the Dodgers, the best team in baseball, last night with 6 home runs including 2 off the bat of Josh Fields, while Gavin Floyd kept the Dodgers quiet at the plate giving up only 3 runs (1 earned)on 6 hits in 6 innings.

Somebody open up the gloves on defense though! Another multi-error game for the Sox as Gordon Beckham picks up his 4th on a ground ball and Alexei Ramirez tacks his 6th on a line drive.

And, Jimmy Gobble, you can go away now. Thank... no, no... Thank you. That'll be all.