The Morning Stretch
The Headline
The Crosstown Series' opener was postponed last night. With both teams looking as mediocre as ever, I was really hoping for a good game, a bench clearing brawl, and Carlos Zambrano's exploding his knee rounding second base. ...
What am I left with? Mets - Orioles... great. I'd rather watch the '69 World Series on ESPN Classic.
David Wright's dreamy and all, but the Mets' Mike Pelfrey blows harder than Linda Lovelace.
Today's Cubs-Sox Game
Danks v Dempster as the pitching match-up. Jermaine Dye should be back in the lineup after 3 days off, Paulie's lookin' good after a quick gut check with stretched thumb ligaments, and Gordon Beckham's looking like he's adjusting well to major league pitching.
As for the Cubs? No A-Ram, but Mike Fontenot is still swinging the stick as a illegitamate power threat. Pfff... please, let me know when Alfonso Soriano is hitting above .250.
With some warmer weather, I'm expecting (Re: Hoping) for the Sox's bats to B an L on the Bleacher Bums' Ts.
In case you're completely naive...
Sammy Sosa tested positive for steroids. Somebody finally leaked. Sure, it's a matter of semantics, but can we really call this a "leak"?
Confirming Sammy Sosa took steroids led to my sleeping better last night... or it could have been the Jack Daniels.
Honestly, before the Sox traded Sosa to the Cubs for George Bell, I would have bet my life that George Bell would have beaten the ever-loving shit out of Sosa. Then 1998 came and Sosa looked like Bobbly Lashley (formerly of the WWE, current of some backyard MMA league) before Bobby Lashley died his hair Demolition Man blonde.
Moving on...
Da Bears' Wide Receiving Corps Could Look Like a Less Famous Version of the Team of Convicts from Necessary Roughness...
If they sign Plaxico or Brandon Marshall. Personally, I wouldn't mind Brandon Marshall if I had an inkling that Lovie Smith would do more to keep him in line.
Doesn't Lovie Smith just strike you as the parent that disciplines his 5-year old child with "Let's talk about this. This is why this is bad. Now go to your room and think really hard about what you've done." Flash forward 10 years and everybody's trying to figure out why this kid is such a nightmarish hemorrhoid on the sphincter of society. All the ritaline in the world won't help this kid and all the inflatable Weeble-Wobbles dressed up in women's lingerie won't suffice Brandon Marshall's slap-a-ho muscles.
What about Plax, you say? I've said it once and I'll say it again: One false move and get swiss cheesed up.
June 17th, 2009 - 15:43
I miss the old Sosa, the 30-30-300 guy (that’s home runs, stolen bases, strikeouts). Atleast that guy was someone you could somewhat tolerate. Also, wasn’t this steroid report supposed to be anonymous? Just wondering how all this crap is coming out. Don’t get me wrong: Sosa and A-Rod getting found out is like an early Christmas present to me. But come on. Kobe’s girlfriends don’t leak as bad as this.
June 17th, 2009 - 15:56
A-Ram? I thought we all agreed to use the Erin Andrews invented moniker “Rammy”. No?
June 17th, 2009 - 16:59
@Grendel:
ha, 300 Ks. Good man.
The reports were supposed to be anonymous. This was such a selling point that the players’ union wanted it worked into the collective bargaining agreement to avoid exactly this scenario. ESPN’s legal specialist, Roger Cossack, explained today on Mike and Mike in the Morning that the only two parties that possess this list of offenders are the MLB Players’ Union and The MLB Commisioner’s Office. Kinda makes you wonder here…
Either Bud Selig really wanted to try to save his hide or some players’ union members feel these 105 players egregiously offended the integrit of the game to the point that they need to be set apart from those players who did it without PEDs.
@WildBill:
Fair enough. I co-sign anything Erin Andrews initiates.
June 17th, 2009 - 17:36
Thank God Sammy Sosa finally got leaked. The whole McGuire/Sosa race made the MLB so much money and should be wiped from baseball history. As for the crosstown rivals this is a game between two mediocre teams. With the Cubs’ payroll they should be a lot better than they are. Never should of gotten rid of Wood. Beside that I can’t really blame management for the lack of hitting. They fired their hitting coach, but basically it comes down to the players not sucking.