Whatever
*yawn*
So I was all set to write a great piece on the Stanley Cup Playoffs - told Sean and Will I would, sat down to write it - twice. I love hockey. Always have. Grew up playing hockey, loving the Hawks, liking the Rangers and fucking hating the Wings. I've been watching the playoffs, I follow hockey more than most, which is to say I've watched it - ever. But for some reason, each time I sat down at my little mac book, Red Bull by my side, cigarette in hand, earbuds in - ready to write - nothing! Not a damn thing. Not a single moving or inspirational thought regarding Lord Stanley's cup. Anyone who knows me knows I'm not exactly a man of few words - give me a topic, I'll riff on it, bitch about it, add my own 8 bucks (for those scoring at home, that's like 2 cents times 400). John Lennon said, "I'm an artist. You give me a tuba, I'll get somethin' out of it." That's sort of how I am about sharing my opinion (of course everyone loves John's music and nobody really gives a shit what I have to say, but that doesn't stop me from tellin' them.) But I sit down to write about hockey and boom - nothing! ...
Is this because I'm a shitty writer? Of course not! It's because the geniuses running the NHL have sucked all the fun out of hockey. Gary Bettman has taken hockey's fun deep into the woods and shot it dead. I've never heard of a league being so mismanaged (USFL) or so unappreciative of its fans (XFL). The sport went through a damaging lockout a few years back that almost drove one of the oldest and most storied leagues in the country right out of existence. And what does Bettman do? Does he promote the shit out of his league? Does he curb the over expansion that caused the problems in the first place? Does he crawl back to ESPN, the players and the fans hat in hand? Nope. He throws his league on deep cable (people forget that when the NHL first moved to VS. it was still the Outdoor Life Network) and scrawls "Thank You Fans" behind the net for one season. Your welcome Gary. All is forgiven. Ticket prices so high Richard Branson had to mortgage his house to get into the lower deck? Hockey in the desert? In the Carolinas? A Cup winner from fucking Florida? Bill Wertz? Sure. We forgive you. Glad hockey's back. Fuck off!!
It took baseball, America's pastime nearly 5 years to recover from its strike - and that process was greatly aided by the summer of '98 (McGuire/Sosa, record breaking Yankees) - but Bettman just thought we'd come back, no questions asked. He thought we'd search our digital cable on screen guides to figure out what the hell channel VS. was on, thought we'd conform to his bullshit scheduling to make room for Conan. For Conan?!? I love Conan, but it's the Goddamn Stanley Cup Finals Gary, sac up here.
There's some great young talent in this league no one's ever heard of. There's old timers still banging around the league that the sport's target audience grew up idolizing. The league is poised for a renaissance and Bettman won't let it happen. Gary should take a lesson from Rocky Wertz. You want your fan base back? Don't tell us. Show us. Improve your product! Put your games on somewhere I can find them! Make me feel like you need me, not the other way around. You want proof I don't need the NHL? There should be analysis here, but there isn't. I should be highlighting great story lines within the series, but I'm not. Until you make the fans feel appreciated, give us a reason to care, make us believe you care if we care - you get nothing! You lose! Good day sir!
There's a damn good chance this embarrassment of a season will end tonight as the Sovie - I mean Redwings hoist their second Cup in as many years. And when it does, Mr. Bettman, I suggest you think long and hard about what you owe your fans and where you want your league to go. Once you realize that you're nothing without us, do something to win us back. Until you do, you'll hear nothing from me.
And as always...DE - TROIT SUCKS!
-Wild Bill